7-year-olds watching cert 12 DVD: did I over-react?

[juliab]

Just wondering what you all think. Yesterday, went to a friends house with ds1 (7), ds2 (6) and ds3 (2). A few other mums went too with their kids - none of them over 7. After tea, the host mum's child (also 7) took them all upstairs to watch a DVD.
I went up to check on ds3 and found they were all watching a Cert 12 film. I hadn't seen it so didn't know what was in it but wasn't very happy about it, so asked the host mum's child if he had any other DVDs that were more suitable for younger ones. He refused to change it.
I took ds3 away (amid much tantrumming!) and said to host mum: 'Sorry for all the screaming but I can't let him watch a cert-12 film.' She said, 'Ok but you'll have to keep him down here because I don't want to spoil the others' fun.'
I was at this: I'd never let a bunch of under-7s watch something like that. But none of the other mums seemed at all worried. Does that mean I'm an uptight old bag?

Men in Black is PG BTW

My 6 and 4 yr old have both seen Revenge of the Sith (12) watching with us on the sofa at home in case it was too scarey. Now they watch it when they want to by themselves.

My son watched pirates of the caribean on the plane to Lanzarote when he was 4...i didnt know the cert of it but assumed it was a family film as it was being played in the afternoon and there were plenty of kids on the plane. He loved it and it didnt scare him etc.

I wouldnt rent it in a video shop for him with a 12 cert though.

No, you didn't over-react. It's fine if you decide you want your child to watch a film which has a certificate above his or her age - I don't think it's fine for another parent to make that decision for you. I would never put a 12 film on for underage children - unless they were mine (or I'd checked with the other parents first).

I have only just let ds1 see Pirates Of the Caribbean - he's 9 - and he was fine with it. But that was my decision to take and I'd be very cross if it had been taken out of my hands.

I completely agree, IMO the other Mum should have asked the other Mums if they were ok with it first.

Lunavix - just wondering why someone under 12 shouldn't see "a full blown gay kiss"?

I'm not sure I'd want my girls to watch any full blown kisses, be they gay or not. They're both under 5, not sure when I'd be comfortable with this. Def not until 10 at least

It does depend on the film but I have to admit I am quite relaxed about it. My twins age 6 have watched it and other 12's and pirates of the carribean is one of their favourites Mine to but for reasons they of corse are too young to understand

I was angry though when my 10 year old went to a sleepover and watched The Grudge!!! I watched it a while ago and Sh*t myself!!

When my mum went away to see family, my dad thought it was a treat for me (I was 7/8 yrs) to sit up, eat choccy eclairs with him and watch late night horror films, it was the hammer film stuff, dracula and mates. Stuff that I laugh at now, but after each film I would have nightmares for weeks, and for a while mum had to get into bed with me before I would go to sleep.

I agree that films are crazily rated. I would be cautious in showing my small DD a 12 film, unless I knew what was in it.

My FIL let my youngest, then 6, watch Titanic (without asking me first) after I'd made the decision- based on my knowledge of my own child- that I didn't want him to see it. FIL didn't think, full stop. DS had nightmares for weeks about the bodies floating in the water, and it wasn't FIL who had to deal with that.

(This was the same child who- aged 3- had nightmares about the stampede in the Lion King!)

So no, not an over-reaction.

Tallulah - your post made me and
I have fairly sensitive children, and am generally very careful about what they watch: especially when they were younger.

But once when ds1 was about 6 or 7 I had a very absent moment: he was off school ill and I wanted to put on a video for him. I looked at Titanic and thought "Hmm.. Why was that a 12? Oh yes, I remember, some rumpy pumpy in a car with Leonardo ...!" So I figured we could fast forward through that point, and he'd be fine. About 2/3 of the way through I suddenly remembered about the ship sinking and hundreds of people dying horrific deaths

Dh was horrified with me. But fortunately ds1 seemed to take it in his stride and coped with it OK. Ds2 is just 7 and I'd go nuts if someone let him watch it!

Like it has been said, depends on the film and the child, my ds is 6 and knows that these things are all made up for tell, he watches Dr Who, Harry Potter etc etc, although my friends son who's 8 watched one episode of Dr Who and had mightmares for weeks.
You know your own children and what are likely to scare them.

I don't think you over-reacted - I would also have removed my 2 year old. I have learnt (after 'The Curse of the Were Rabbit') that you really need to watch a film in advance before letting a young child watch a film. DS is old enough to follow a plot, but not old enough to distinguish fantasy from fact ("What happened?""Oh Wallace has turned into a scary rabbit monster, but don't worry that won't happen in real life...") I don't know if I am a wimp or just suffer from an over active imagination, but I had nightmares about the witch in the wizard of Oz for years.

I am sure that PotC is a great film for some 7 year olds, but if it was fine for all 7 year olds it wouldn't be a 12!

Come to think of it I had nightmares about \link{http://www.televisionheaven.co.uk/lizzie.htm\this programme} too. I think I had a thing about witches

I don't think I would have worried about a 2 year old, tbh, my two when they were really little would have got bored and wandered off (but then I think we only let them watch things like the Clangers and the Very Hungry Caterpillar at that age!). My dd is also very sensitive and gets nightmares quite easily - I remember putting on the Grinch once, and after a few seconds she was terrified, and we had issues at bed time for weeks. Doctor Who, which we had rather hoped to watch as a family as dh and I are fans, also gave her nightmares. They both watched Pirates at their cousins when it first came out, when I guess they were 4 and 5, and it didn't seem to upset either of them, so I wouldn't have worried about that too much (not sure how much they really watch things in a group of kids anyway). But I am just about to pre-vet the latest Harry Potter for ds, so that I can tell him when to leave the room/not to watch, and we did the same for Revenge of the Sith. But different families have very different views on these things - when we saw RotS at the cinema there was a dad there with two little boys (I would have said both quite a bit under five) which I thought was very bad - especially as it was an evening show. However they both seemed to sleep through it, so I guess that was OK! I think it is difficult if the son was the one choosing the film - can see how that led to problems, not sure how I would have reacted.