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Original poster

7-year-olds watching cert 12 DVD: did I over-react?

65 replies

juliab · 23/02/2006 10:20

Just wondering what you all think. Yesterday, went to a friends house with ds1 (7), ds2 (6) and ds3 (2). A few other mums went too with their kids - none of them over 7. After tea, the host mum's child (also 7) took them all upstairs to watch a DVD.
I went up to check on ds3 and found they were all watching a Cert 12 film. I hadn't seen it so didn't know what was in it but wasn't very happy about it, so asked the host mum's child if he had any other DVDs that were more suitable for younger ones. He refused to change it.
I took ds3 away (amid much tantrumming!) and said to host mum: 'Sorry for all the screaming but I can't let him watch a cert-12 film.' She said, 'Ok but you'll have to keep him down here because I don't want to spoil the others' fun.'
I was at this: I'd never let a bunch of under-7s watch something like that. But none of the other mums seemed at all worried. Does that mean I'm an uptight old bag?

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snailspace · 23/02/2006 12:37

Message withdrawn

Enif · 23/02/2006 12:40

I didnt feel happy about my 6 year old watching Narnia on dvd at her friends house.

but as she had gone for a sleepover I kind of felt I had divulged responsibility slightly.

Actually I think pirates of the caribbean is probably fine (though the zombie part is quite scary). I wouldnt be happy about LotR though.

Troutpout · 23/02/2006 20:17

No fwiw i don't think you over reacted...they are your children.
My son is 8 and i wouldn't be happy with him watching pirates of the carribean or any 12 cert film....and he wouldn't either.It was obviously given a 12 rating for some reason ...if it was suitable for all then it would have been a U.

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lunavix · 23/02/2006 21:01

I've no problem with any child watching pirates of the caribbean, like I previously said. However dh and I flicked through our dvds and other '12' ratings we have include Goldmember and All the Queens Men.

Goldmember is definately too sexual for any child under 12 (tbh I think it should be a 15 and I'm not a prude or anything) all the queens men is a ww2 movie with matt le blanc and eddie izzard, where they dress up as women and there's a full blown gay kiss. So I wouldn't let anyone under 12 watch either of those.

However.... Xmen is a 15 (which I have to admit I didn't know as I keep telling 8 yo to watch it!) which I think is totally wrong and would let the 6 yo watch. So I think ratings are just a tiny bit messed up.

Sorry I ranted! It depends on the movie for sure.

zippitippitoes · 23/02/2006 21:04

I agree it depends on the film

and the children

but they will watch these films at other peoples houses once they start gouing to sleepovers particularly as films are used to shut them up and wind them down so if you are likely to be concerned check out beforehand and if it's you showing something it would be nice to mention so that parents can decide before the event

Tehanu · 23/02/2006 21:14

No, I don't think you over-reacted - or at least I would have done the same! My ds2 (6) is sensitive, and there are plenty of PGs that are not suitable for him to watch. Ds1 (8) has seen some 12 certificates, but closely monitored.

I haven't seen "Pirates" so can't comment, but IMO it's completely inappropriate to put on a non-PG/U film for a group of infants and pre-schoolers.

DumbledoresGirl · 23/02/2006 21:16

I think you have to be cautious. I don't know that particular film, but my dss (aged 9 and 8) wanted to watch the final Star Wars film, having seen all the others, but dh watched it first and said it wasn't appropriate. Last week, the boys were at friends' house and their mother rang up and asked if it was OK for them to watch the Star Wars film. I had to say no as I knew dh didn't want them to see it. Afterwards he showed me the offending scene and I have to say I didn't think it was too bad, but I was glad the other mother had rung up and given me the chance to say no. I don't think you did over react.

DumbledoresGirl · 23/02/2006 21:17

The SW film is certificate 12 too I believe.

KateF · 23/02/2006 21:20

I do not think Pirates of the Caribbean is suitable for 7 year olds but I'm sure a lot have seen it! dd1 is 6 and would be v.scared by it. It's certainly not what I would choose to show other people's children without checking first.

swedishmum · 23/02/2006 21:50

Much as I loved the film dd2 was quite scared by the zombie part - if I'm putting on anything other than a U I always check with parents just to be safe. I'm fine with my older kids watching 15s usually but like to know. I don't think this was a suitable film to put on without asking other mums.
Had hassle at a party (dd's 8th) when dd wanted to put on Grease for all kids plus brothers/sisters to watch and one mum was shocked.

mumeeee · 23/02/2006 23:24

The pirates of the Carribian was a 12A in the cinema. Which means younger children can watch it with an adult. "1a films are still certified 12 on DVDs I think this is to stop younger children buying them with out an adult and also they have extra features that are mor suitable for older children. Pirates is fine but some 12's definatly would not be. I think that the host Mum should have checked with the other Mums first. So no you weren't over reacting.

WideWebWitch · 23/02/2006 23:30

I wouldn't mind 7yos watching Pirates OTC.

MeAndMyBoy · 23/02/2006 23:35

No I don't think you did over react. You had no idea what the film was about so couldn't make a judgement call based on that, what else are ratings for if not to give us an idea of the films content and to decide if it's appropriate without having to see it first? for a 2 year old I feel a 12 is far too adult.

Suddenly seeing people become skeltons with torn tatty clothes hanging off their bones, and when drinking the drink pouring out of their skelton skulls could be upsetting and cause night mares. There is fighting in it and kidnap too.

It does also depend on the child too, some are less affected by films than others so you do have to add that in too. But as you hadn't seen the film I would have done the same too.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 24/02/2006 00:01

like others I think the suitability obviously depends on the film. But I don;t think in the circumstances you over-reacted. I also think the mum was actaully being quite thoughtless - even if she thought the film was fine, and even if she would have had no problem were the roles reversed I would have thought she could have realised that not all mums would be happy with this and that someone else's kids might find the film scarier than hers did. I do think that whenever there's a risk of something being contentious it's polite to check it out with the parents first.

Beetroot · 24/02/2006 08:47

It does deepnd onn the film. And No way should another mum deicde if your child can watch such a rating with our asing you.

UI have some mte whom I know would not mind and some who I would ask or jsut not do it.

oops · 24/02/2006 09:04

Message withdrawn

grumpyfrumpy · 24/02/2006 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

juliab · 24/02/2006 11:18

Thanks guys! Much food for thought there. Looks like the ratings are a bit random sometimes but, in this case, I had nothing else to go on as I hadn't see the film. Judging by what you say about it, though, I'm glad we had to go home about half an hour after it started: my ds2 is terrified of skeletons!
To those of you who wouldn't have wanted your kids watching it, what would you have said to the host mum? I kind of copped out once I'd removed my toddler, knowing we were going home soon but I don't know what I would have said/done if we were going to be there longer.

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Wordsmith · 24/02/2006 11:30

Haven't seen POTC, tho judging by Meandmyboy's description up there I would say 'no way!' - but as a host I wouldn't let my kids and their friends of that age watch a film that wasn't a U or a PG unless I knew for a fact that the kids and their parents wouldn't object - so I'd have to know them very well! there are only a couple of DS1's friends that i could confidently do that with.

DS1 (5) went to a Star Wars party last summer and someone had brought along a pirate copy of Revenge of the Sith and they watched it. i didn't know until I came to pick him up (ie after the event) and I was pretty annoyed, esp as we had spent ages telling DS1 he wouldn't be able to see it as it was too scary. If the party had been at my house I wouldn't have allowed the DVD to be shown. However it didn't seem to affect him.

Having said that, the most unlikely things scare him - he had nightmares for 3 months after seeing Snow White at the age of 2, and Wallace & Gromit Curse of the Were-Rabbit has the same effect, even tho it's a PG. A shame cos I think it's a fantastic film, and he loves all the other W&Gs.

DS1 is mad on Star Wars and has seen the 3 original films to no bad effect. We have bought Phantom menace for him to see (accompanied) but I had heard that Revenge of the Sith was quite 'dark.'

Re what would I say to the host mum - probably nothing to be honest, but next time my kids were invited round I would try and have a word beforehand, and say something along the lines of 'my child is prone to nighmares, please be careful what they see', but like you I am amazed at what some parents deem suitable for small children.

anniebear · 24/02/2006 13:23

juliab

I think you were right

Mine won't be watching 12's when they are 7

anniebear · 24/02/2006 13:24

and I also think the other parent should have checked with you all before putting the dvd on

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 24/02/2006 13:25

In theory I would have said something, in practice I wouldn't! I'm too much of a wuss. I suppose the middle ground might be a couple of hints to avert it happening again - eg drop into conversation that your ds/dd is quite easily scared by films and it's a real pain coz he won't go to sleep at night. Glad my dd is not the only one who was scared by teh were-rabbit - we had to leave the cinema!

RedZuleika · 25/02/2006 19:35

If you're interested, the British Board of Film Classification explains on its website on what grounds a decision has been made for each film it classifies. You can search by film title and it gives you an idea of whether it's because of bad language, nudity, violence etc. 'Pirates...' seems to be because of 'moderate horror'.

Haven't read the whole thread, so I don't know if someone has posted this already.

RedZuleika · 25/02/2006 19:39

I'm not defending or condemning the showing of a DVD to an under-age audience btw - just thought it might assist to determine the content.

A cartoon version of 'The Headless Horseman...' scared the pants off me when I was a kid. Gave me nightmares for weeks.

lazycow · 27/02/2006 11:44

My friend's 2 year old used to be frightened by bits of Winnie the Pooh so I really ti nk it depends on the child and the film. You hadn't seen the film and couldn't make a judgement so I don't think you over-reacted at all.

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