How would you react to finding out that you'd been living very close to a pedophile for most of your children's lives?

[O2BNormal]

I feel ever so slightly queasy.

According to the local paper a man a few doors away has been convicted of having 103,000 indecent images of children, including 400 of the "worst sort".

I've known him most of my life, he was a couple of years younger than me at school. His parents' house (where he still lives) is opposite my parents' and they've known his parents (and his father's parents) to chat to for 40+ years. The house overlooks my parents' garden where my DC have played regularly since they were born. For the last 8 years we've lived only a few doors away too. His house is also directly opposite the local Primary School and Nursery gate and overlooks the playground.

I know hope he hasn't personally harmed any children and is no direct risk to my DC or others, but it does make me feel uneasy and wonder if he's been watching my DC. Apart from having always lived with his parents when he must be approaching 40, he and the family have always seemed so "normal". It's shaken me up a bit, but I suspect I'm over reacting. Would you?

That's a hard one. I can understand your unease, and I think I would feel the same, even if I knew he'd never been near my son.

Yes, logically, there is no harm done to your children by a paedophile looking at them, but you wouldn't be a human being if it didn't disturb you a bit to wonder what they were thinking. I think it's only human to feel that way.

But, since you are probably living near to several others that you, and maybe nobody else, knows about, this one is no danger to you.

The paedophile that is a danger is the one you don't know about, the one you think is a family friend/trusted family member.

Having been there- and with somebody a lot closer to home- I have to say I was shocked/saddened but not for myself, for his loved ones. And him too.

To be clear, the case I am referring to was possession of images too.

A local community member and old friend of a relative was convicted of a much greater crime iyswim, horrific actual carrying out of acts and my reaction was completely different.

I'd be shocked and uneasy, same as you. Hecate is right though, at least you know and can be vigilant - it's the trusted person that you don't know about that's the danger.

paedophiles are all over the place, and no amount of fretting will change that. I am sure there are probably several near where I live too, but sometimes it's better not knowing...

At least you know the score now, OP.

I know there is one near where we live. He groped my god daughters leg on the way home on the bus. No action was taken as it was her word against his and he told the police he 'couldn't remember doing it'. I know her really well and know her reactions to him mean he really did! I also know that any decent man who hadn't done it would say 'I wouldn't do that' as would paedos better at lying!
He has always looked at my little girl in a similar way to a man ogling a page three girl. He tried talking to my little people on the bus shortly after. I told him not to speak to them, not to even look at them, I did not want them to think he is ok when I know he is not!!
I think you must be remembering all the times the kids have been in paddling pool in GPs garden and things like that. I am sure you have kept your kids safe and they haven't suffered at his or anyone elses hands.

Thank you all - the voices of reason.

I think I might actually have sworn when I recognised the name and address in the paper - and that doesn't happen often

Paedophiles are like rats...they are never that far away from where you live.