Tell me this is normal for a newborn....

[Cydonia]

Hi all, DS1 is now 16 days old and I'm struggling to get him to sleep at night. During the day he'll nap beautifully in his carrycot downstairs, in fact he sleeps so well I have to wake him every 3 hours to feed ( he's breast fed ). But night time is a different matter...eg tonight I woke him at 9pm and he's still awake now, won't settle even after feeding and screaming a lot. He struggles with wind, can never seem to get him to bring it up properly and when put down in his cot at night gets very hiccupy and 'splutters', sometimes bringing a bit of milk up. This doesn't tend to happen during the day. I've started him on infacol and try to keep him upright for a while after feeding. The screaming comes and goes very suddenly and he brings his legs up to his tummy which makes me think it's a trapped wind/colic problem? Basically my question is that is this just normal newborn behaviour or should I get him checked out? And how can I make him stay awake in the day so he might sleep at night? When I mentioned it to the HV she seemed happy he was fine, just saying I will notice in the next few days he will start to settle better and that it was too early yet to get into a routine. Why is it just at night though?! I'm knackered, it's easier said than done to get a decent nap in myself during the day and DP going back to work on nights next Monday so I'll be on my own.
Sorry for the rambling post, was hoping DS would have dropped off in my arms while I typed but he's still wide awake! Aaargh!

I don't know, but if your HV says it's normal, and she's usually quite nice/helpful, it probably is normal.

I'm so helpful!

Is it normal to wake a baby to feed him though?

Poor you.

It's common and normal. Babies are rubbish sleepers and their normal sleep cycle is short. It's really normal for them to wake in the night and his tummy discomfort will wear off - just give him a bit of time.

He's still terribly new and he's just getting the hang of being out in the big world, like you're getting the hang of being his mum.

It is so, so tiring for you but your HV is right. He'll get there and it really is too early to get into a routine. Have you thought about or do you co-sleep? That really helped me with mine. We all slept so much better.

Congratulations on your new baby! Everything you describe sounds 100% normal. Don't necessarily try to keep him awake during the day so he sleeps more at night, unfortunately it doesn't work like that for such a little one. Trying to manage the naps of a two weeker will send you bonkers. At this early stage it's just all about establishing bf- so giving him lots of access to your boobs especially when he wants it!- and about teaching the difference between day and night- day noisy and bright, night quiet and dark.
And every opportunity you get to lie down yourself- take it!

Hope this makes sense - up with baby again :)

It all sounds totally normal! My 8 week old has only just settled into a proper day night routine.

It sounds like colic to me (which is often worse at night for some reason). Infacol worked for us but it just takes extra long to wind at night.

In terms of the day/night - we make a different kind:composition of milk at night (think it's more carbs? Could b wrong) and babies are naturally attuned to want to wake and feed more of this milk to help th grow in early weeks.,

Good luck and don't worry am sure all will b fine. However if you are worried there is no harm in making a doctors appointment :)

Completely normal. I'm sat here with my 3 month old who has beggar all routine. The bringing knees up n screaming does sound like colic behaviour. If infacol gets you no where some people swear by Colief. It's expensive (£12-13) only lasts about 4-5 days do I'd try get it in prescription

Babies are really nocturnal! Ours were awake right through to 6am with tiny catnaps in between. I agree with bright, loud days and quiet, dark nights being the solution. Slowly over the first 12 weeks, 6am became 3am, then midnight, then 9am. At 12 weeks we noticed that it had happened naturally and did a final push, sitting with them in a dark room from 6pm which has stayed their bedtime ever since. It's tough going at the beginning. Hang in there.

Why are you waking your baby?

Newborns are funny things but only need basic things: cuddles, food, sleep, cuddles, cuddles and sleep. Plus clean bum and clothes. However they make it hard for you!

Do not try and keep your baby awake. After 45 mind they'll be knackered, most likely less than that. So cuddle and let them sleep. Forget routines because they change so much in the first few weeks/months that you think you've got it sussed then they change on you.

The only sort of regular thing I'd do is get up at the same time every morning and when they're a few weeks old, signal bedtime 12 hours after that wake up time. So for example 7am, curtains open get dressed etc. baby will wake up naturally. Then 6.30pm, give them a feed and quieten down the house, low lights etc. in between in the day, go with baby's cues. We did this with DD - she got her days and nights a lot quicker than DS (our first), who took longer because we didn't. Some easy babies fall into the pattern but many don't and get colicky.

The spluttering noises etc - it could be because your baby is so tired and screaming its head off, that it swallows a load of air and makes their tummy contents splash around a lot. Worse at night because they scream more in the evening. Or it could be a sign of reflux (both of mine had this). Worse at night because they're lain flat for longer.

Try for a day or too to let baby sleep in the day as much as possible - make sure they stay with you. Don't pas them about - its very stressful for them. They'll hear the hustle and bustle of the day and will wake and have a look around etc. don't let them stay awake for too long. See how they are at night. If they are calmer then that should give you an answer but if you're worried about the tummy noises speak to a HV.

Try sticking your little finger in his mouth and see if sucking it helps his colic pain. If so then you might want to consider a dummy for the colic pain. I swore I'd never use a dummy, but seeing the relief on baby cakes' face made me a convert and he only wanted it when his tummy hurt and stopped needing it at about 3mo

Whatever you do don't try and keep him awake in the day, it actually makes the nights worse. The night feeding helps to establish supply for some reason, it will ease off. For now, if he is having 3 hour naps in the day time, I suggest you join him as often as possible whilst you're still at the stage where noone expects you to be on top of the house work!

Really normal

I'm sitting feeding.dc3 (3 weeks) right now. She sleeps better and longer during the day than at night as did my first two.

Don't wake your baby for feeds unless you've been told to due to poor weight gain. In general the golden rules are "never wake a sleeping baby" and "the more they sleep, the more they sleep". Lots of sleep in the day is normal. Gradually (or maybe suddenly!) he will start sleeping for longer stretches at night.

And do try to have a sleep in the afternoons if you can - feels unnatural at first but will make you feel so much better and able to cope with the bad nights.

Good luck - and congratulations!

Hi :) my dd2 now 3 weeks old sounds similar to your ds.
Sleepy during day and more difficult to settle at night. I'm finding it hard to wind her especially at night and she scrunches up her legs and makes funny noises too. I am bf on demand (usually 2 to 3 hourly) and sometimes wake her during the day if it's been a bit long since her last feed. At night I try to grab as much sleep as I can between feeds! Sometimes I find it hard going and I have a little weep.
But as others have said its only this intense for the first 6 weeks and then by about 3 months they develop a bit of their own routine (or at least can go longer between feeds) so we just have to keep on keeping on .
Have you heard of the theory that the first 3 months after birth are like a 4th trimester of pregnancy? My HV mentioned it to me and in some ways it makes a lot of sense!

That does make sense, jetstar!

11 days here with DD, such a blur I don't know where 11 days have gone, missing my DS time badly and also sleep deprived, so can utterly sympathise!!

Supposed to be sleeping now but feel a bit scary wide eyed, can't seem to settle

Hi there. My first has just turned 13 weeks today and honestly, it gets better quickly. I found the first few weeks hellish (colic problems and unpicked-up on dairy intolerance) but my baby now is a completely different one to the screaming, unsleeping newborn of the first few weeks.

My best advice came from my hv- sleep begets sleep. So basically, if they nap well in the day, you'll have an easier time at night. Do not try to keep you LO awake in the day to get them to go longer at night, it doesn't work like that!

With night feeds, we avoid talking, keep a very dim room, move our baby as smoothly as possible, don't change her unless she's pooed, avoid all eye contact. During the day we speak, sing, play etc. Basically, keep night feeds boring and your LO will cotton on eventually that night feeds are different.

With the colic, Infacol didn't touch the sides with our LO. The only thing that worked for us was going to see a cranial osteopath. I was a cynic before I went and later thought of him as a miracle worker!

Good luck with your LO. You have my full sympathy...I spent most of the first few weeks in sleep deprived tears, thinking we'd made a huge mistake. A matter of weeks on and my LO is the light of my life and such a good baby. It changes so quickly...hang in there!

Congratulations on your new baby :)

First like many have said it does get better, not helpful right now I know, but that knowledge can help keep you sane.

You have mentioned two issues, not sleeping at night and feeding.

On the sleeping front, you need to get his circadian rhythm in sync. The best way to do this is get him outside as much as possible in the day into the daylight and around daily life so that he associates daytime with being awake and active. At night make sure room is dim from the time you want him to sleep and start bathing him about an half an hour before you would want him to go to sleep at night to get him all relaxed.

My oldest DD was like this when she was born and it is tough. With my second (15 weeks old) I have found she synched much faster as we are out a lot in the day with my 3 year old and her older sister keeps her awake and entertained.

The feeding issue sounds like oversupply to me, good tips here from kellymom. Due to the hormones for lactation being higher at night we often produce more milk than in the day. It will even out as he gets older.

Tips for wind:

Food you eat are important in early stages, later on hopefully you can become more adventurous. Avoid grapes and citrus fruit, they were the worst offenders for me.

Best thing I found for easing wind in my DD's when they were newborn was to put my mouth on her back around the stomach area (mid spine) whilst holding her upright on my knee (hand supporting chin and head) slightly leaning foward and then make low sounds (bit like a didgeridoo). The vibration and the warmth got the wind out faster than rubbing/patting and often they would fall asleep whilst I was doing it! I Found winding on knee better too as when over shoulder stomach is not free to move when wind moves and if they are sick it goes on floor not down your back.

Alternate positions for winding as sometimes one works better than another.

Bicycling legs is good too (bring legs to chest and back down in bicycle motion).

Good luck x

Thanks so much everyone, loads of very helpful tips there! Nice to have a bit of reassurance as well that all is normal ( and judging by the times of some of the posts I know I am not alone! ) I haven't really been trying to keep him awake during the day as such, but was told by MW and HV to feed regularly even if it means waking him up. Luckily he does go back to sleep quite quickly after a feed during the day. Have been trying to get out with him every day, not sure if that helps or not as he either sleeps through the walk or screams the whole way!
I'm afraid I daren't try co-sleeping as DP is a heavy sleeper, snores for England and moves around a lot in his sleep ( which doesn't help my insomnia! ) so am pretty sure the baby would be squashed!
Thanks again for all the advice :)

Normal - just a phase you have to go through I'm afraid but it won't last forever.