Could I be the cause or on the spectrum myself?

[littlelegsmum]

Hi all

I'm new to the parents sight as I'm normally getting advice for my little darlings, but here goes: basically, as my children are acting in certain ways, it's leading me to think that maybe I'm either the cause or could I be on the spectrum.

I've been on venlafaxine for years, previous to that it was anti depressants, this goes back as far as my dd being born in 2001 - I'm always making excuses not to go to places and feel like I'm holding my family back.

I've got impulsive issues and don't really tend to think of the consequences

When going through school I was bullied and always left out, especially in a group of 3. I spent lunchtimes on my own or I was trying to find any excuses not to mix with people

I always tried to fit in but never managed it. I spent a lot of time with younger children or older people

I have become aware that I either don't look at someone enough or I glare at them too much

I pick the back of my head, when worried, anxious or annoyed about things. I've got scars and missing hair and hate anyone seeing it - although it really hurts or stings I can't help myself as it makes me feel better

If I'm trying to search something on the Internet I get very annoyed if I'm disturbed. Lately I've tried to research various things for the kids but it's all I can think about and I'm becoming obsessed with needing to know things

I'm not sure if I'm over reacting as the kids are going for assessments but just feel this had made me look at myself as my dd, especially, is just like me.

My DS1 has ADHD and Aspergers and it does seem to be quite common that when a child is diagnosed then one of the parents realises that they some of the same signs. It might be worth looking online, for example Facebook support groups for adults with Aspergers, to investigate whether you have symptoms that might benefit from an assessment of your own.

Suggest loooking on National AUtistic SOciety website (Google it) as hey have a whole section about some families where it seems to appear quite regularly whilst in other cases it pops up out of the blue. You can also find out about adult dx on that site too if you are interested.

More important. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. no matter what IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. My daughter has a child with cystic fibrosis and for some time her in laws "blamed her" as her mother and she had some chest problems and their family" had nothing wrong with it". Total nonsense genetic connections (where they exist) are rarely known about before one decides to have children so how can "fault" be apportioned?
Stop dong yourself in with guilt this minute. You are doing a great job with your children. Maybe, and I repeat maybe, if you decide to get a dx and it turns out to be ASD then congratulate yourself even more for coping so brilliantly... then make sure you get the help and support you should have been having all along, fight for yourself just as you fight for your child, make her proud of you some more!! Look out for a great T shirt slogan... various words starting with the different letters of Autism.. my son's favourite one is M for mysterious.. because his mind works so much more interestingly (mysteriously) than the boring old neuro typicals!!! I totally agree with him.. love the idea of being mysterious!!