Unsupportive partner

[volley39]

Im sorry but just have to get this off my chest and maybe I'm unreasonable? My son is 3 in aug, he has always been an early riser but going thro a half five start again! Usually has done his business so ready and up for day! I have always got up with him but I'm finding it hard as he is extremely busy from word go. I wish my partner would get up sometimes but in his words 'I go to work' ( I stay at home) even if he got up say half seven so I could pop back bed for half hour but no! Result I'm tired every night as I do all bedtime routine as well then cook dinner when little one in bed. You can imagine certain things go out window then he complains I give him no attention! Last night he called me a lazy bitch and I do 'f----' all! Is it me? I know he works hard but most days he comes home for lunch which I cook and sometimes it's a two hr lunch break! Tell me I'm unreasonable.....thank u for reading...

You are not unreasonable.

Firstly he has no right calling you names.
Secondly I bet you would love two hours downtime per day.
Thirdly it is his child too and he should be pulling his weight with taking care of him. Just because he works in the day doesn't mean you should be expected to work all day and night.

He is being a twat.

Thank you KatandKit, I meant to add I've only put this on here as I can't talk to anyone as he's paranoid and tells to me to go if I talk but I'm not being personal but everyone needs to let off steam! Don't they?

They do, volley. He doesn't sound very supportive at all. You poor thing. It sounds like a really long day for you. Do you get a break at the weekends?

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

Tell him that he doesn't have to get up for work at the weekend so you are having a lay in and spending the day out on your own! He can't be that selfish when you have children. Everyone has to join in. I find work restful compared to children

OP, your DP shouldn't swear at you like that.

What does he do with your DS if he's at work till after he goes to bed? Does he spend quality time with him during that 2 hour lunch break? At weekends does he take DS out to give you a break, or give you time to go out to do something you enjoy?

My DH works and I am a SAHM, so I know where you're coming from! However, my DH gets up every morning when DS wakes as he sees it as his only time in a day with him and he doesn't want to miss it. For my sanity that is a real blessing, especially as I'm 30 weeks pregnant with DC2.

He's a nasty, lazy fucker and a shit dad.

You don't have to put up with this.

I'm sorry but he sounds awful. He might go to work, but you are also working, and 24/7. My DH says he finds it much harder to be at home looking after DS (15 months) than having a difficult day at work. It's constant and exhausting.

It's fair for you to do more mornings if you don't have to leave the house, but definitely not every day, and IMO you should take turns at the week-end, one of you has a lie-in on Saturday and the other one on Sunday.

Also, why do you have to cook every day? Surely he can make dinner while you are doing bedtime, or if not could one of you could batch cook so you also freeze some portions?

However, the underlying problem seems to be IMO his lack of respect for you, calling you names is not on at all. YANBU.

Oh thank you everyone, I feel better for venting! I guess it's harder as he's a 'traditional' male- ie kids stuff is for women! Weekends are

I think the 'traditional' male is bullsh*t and something he will try to hide behind.

Tell him that a real man helps out with a child which is half his. Maybe before your DS was born your DH went to work and had the rest of his time as leisure time, but now there is a 3rd human being in your house he needs to help.

It isn't just to give you a break, but it's to actually develop a bond with the child. You are a mother, you aren't another kitchen machine.

Sorry my son got phone! Thank you, weekends when dp gets up I have an hour in bed to catch up! I'm sorry feel all I've done is moan, was seeing what other people do, it's harder as he is such a busy boy! Ps my other half doesnt like cooking, luckily I do but would be nice occasionally not to! :)

I really do feel your pain about running around after a young boy all day. My son is almost 2 and a half years old and he doesn't stop, plus he's a total chatterbox! I love him though and I enjoy being at home with him 99% of the time.

I think having a quiet peaceful word with your DP would do you a world of good to get it off your chest, and might be a kick up the bum he needs to be more hands on.