Am I a wimp?

[mermaid101]

My DD is 8.5 months old. She seems to be a fairly easy going baby: naps pretty regularly and often sleeps through the night.

However, over the last few weeks I have been feeling completely exhausted. Getting through a day seems like such a task. She is a lot harder to entertain than she was, so it seems more difficult to get stuff done in the house and just really do anything.

I don't feel like my days are particularly busy compared to other people I know and I'm wondering if I am just a real wimp and don't have much stamina.

She is my first baby. I read posts on here about people who have several DCs, or who have babies who don't sleep and I feel almost ashamed that I am finding things difficult.

Is this normal or do I need to give myself a good shake and get on with it?

Sorry! meant to post this in Parenting. Any ideas how I can get this moved?

report your OP and ask for it to be moved. see 'report' above your first post?

Thanks! Done it

Well if you are a wimp I am too!

My ds is also 8.5 months and it seems to have got so much harder recently. He needs constant stimulation and much more physical activity too, and I am worn out well before the end of the day. I have had to start drinking a proper coffee in the morning to get me going.

I know several mums with babies the same age and they are finding it tougher too. Sorry I can't offer any solutions but at least you know you are not alone!

They do get a bit harder when you can't just pop them down for a bit, perhaps you are both a bit bored?
Do you go out much or do you stay in trying to get things done around the house?
The best thing you can do is get out every day, just amble round the shops, walk to the park, join local library and get some new books for her every week, that sort of thing? Take a blanket and some sandwiches and have your lunch as a picnic?

If you're out, she won't be bored, you won't be stressing about the vacuuming, and the time will go a bit quicker! I know you don't want to wish the days away but I also know the feeling of 'is it bedtime yet?'
Baby groups / children's centres are good too (but don't overdo it with classes, as they can be a bind when at a fixed time) if there are any near you, it's good to get out and meet other people with babies.

@mermaid101

Sorry! meant to post this in Parenting. Any ideas how I can get this moved?

All done :)

On a slightly different note could you be suffering from a Vitamin D deficiency? My DH was and he was just utterly exhausted most of the time. It was definitely worth diagnosing as he feels so much better now.

I found this age difficult. Your baby wants / needs more stimulation but usually don't (or can't) move much so rely on you for entertainment..

Lots of books and reading, songs and music, walking and shopping got me through this period... If the weather is nice outside in the garden is good too..

Your routines have to change a lot to accommodate children to fit in with them... My kids like to "help" with the HW and I have to chill out that my home isn't as tidy and clean as it was pre children days (although I still do HW every day!!)

It does get easier...

my DD is 9 months and just started crawling, shes happy to entertain herself now, at least most of the time, so I can get stuff done. I am still exhausted though, I think thats just parenting a baby ! Do you have chill out time when she naps?

Thanks for these! It's good to know that I'm not alone. I was getting a bit worried, because everyone else I know who has a baby the same age all look totally fab and say that they are finding it all so much easier. And I look and feel like a complete wreck.

Hippo, I think you might be right. I think I do feel a bit bored and lonely. I do have stuff on nearly every day though. We go swimming once a week and to a baby group another day and I'm in the fortunate postition to have friends who have babies of similar ages, so I see a bit of them too. Otherwise, I make sure we have some sort of activity on, even if it's just something like going to the supermarket or something. But I do find it tiring!

However, I think I do need to square my shoulders a bit and maybe try to get out and about a bit more. I was speaking to one of the other Mums at my group and she was saying she took her Dc to two activities a day. I was so impressed! And when I asked her when she did her housework/shopping and stuff, she told me she did it all when her DC was in bed. I feel so inadequate. When my DC goes to bed, it's all I can do to put a bit of dinner on and then go to bed myself as soon as it;s eaten and cleared up.

What do you all think? Does my week look at bit dull? Maybe I'd feel a bit more energised if I did more? Thanks for all your replies so far. Very much appreciated!

DS is nearly six months, and I swear the more he sleeps, the more exhausted I feel! I do wonder if it's because they start to get fed up not being able to get to things they want? DS used to be fine on his mat for ages, but now he whines after a few minutes - maybe when they start crawling it gets easier?!

Molinko,

I've never thought of a Vit D deficiency. Did your DH have to go to the Dr? How did/does he combat it?

I think you are doing a fair bit then, it's good that you are meeting other mums. It's just a hard age, is your DD moving now? You can't just sit there with a cup of coffee while they play anymore, cos you have to keep stopping them from climbing / falling / knocking the damn coffee over.

I think two activities every day is too much, personally, well I certainly couldn't have been bothered with 2 / day every day anyway!
Baby gyms are also good if you have a nice one nearby, good for wearing them out and if you go with friends you can take turns

I do get shopping delivered though, that saves a task - have you tried that? Ocado are quite good. Also I'm not particularly heavy on the housework side :), maybe you should lower your standards a bit...

Believe me Hippo, my housework standards are not particularly high at the best of times!

My DD is moving around quite a lot and I think this tiredness seems to have arrived at about the same time, so I assume they are related. It does impact on going for a coffee and stuff, even in very child friendly places. I met a friend and her 4 month old yesterday and ended up having to come home early as my DD seemed really bored and frustrated.

Do you have DCs? What age are they? Will this get better do you think? Is it terrible that I go to bed at about 8.30pm?

I thought iron deficiency?? or like someone mentioned vitamin d deficiency, or any other vitamin deficiencies??

If you are so tired you are going to bed at 8.30pm i dont think that is completely normal tbh. Maybe try getting some of the vitamin supplements urself and see if it makes a difference then if not then gp appointment?

Do you drink much coffee? i have 3 young dc and i rely on caffiene quite a bit it really does help! although maybe not the best advice, but i find it makes a difference. Also getting enough fresh air and getting out and about, to keep u feeling awake but sounds as though you are doing that already.

I did find it quite a challenge with my first when he started moving because uptil then he had been quite easy as he wasnt a clingy baby and if i put him somewhere he would happily stay there, then suddenly he was everywhere getting into everything so i was like omg!! and took a couple of weeks to adjust to that, but not the extent of feeling so tired and having to sleep that early. Also if you need to sleep that time, then when do you get time for yourself?? that would make me feel a bit tired and down if i did not get any time for myself just to unwind and relax of an evening

I was going to say get checked for an iron deficiency....very common...but see someone else has mentioned it....I had the same and turned out I was Anemic. Some tiredeness is very nrmal of course but the doctor told me never to just dismiss it as "Being a new parent" as it could always be something else. Go and get checked.

Probably the 37 week developmental leap having some effect on her behaviour. It can affect sleep (ie causes the 8/9 months sleep regression), behaviour, eating, mood and everything. It will pass.

Deffo get the iron checked - you don't even need to be deficient for it to affect you. I had chronic exhaustion/depression for 7 months (would come home and cry for 2 hours without stopping). Blood tests showed iron levels were normal, although at the low end of normal. The GP said if I hadn't been feeling so tired she wouldn't even recommend taking supplements, but since I was, it was worth a try. I was a new woman within 2 weeks of starting taking pills.

Thanks for these suggestions. I think there might be something in the vitimim/iron deficiency. Before I had my DD, my diet was excellent and I swam or went to the gym in the morning before work. All this has stopped and having read what other people have to say, I think I would say that I don't feel in good health generally.

I'm going to make a GP appointment, but I'm going on holiday for a week on Monday, so there's no way I'll get one before that. Do you think taking a multi vitimin or something I could buy over the counter would start making a difference in the mean time?

Also, would other people mind sharing what time they go to bed at and what time they get up at. I sort of thought that most people with babies just went to bed at the earliest opportunity, but I realise now this is probably not the case.

Again, thanks to everyone for taking the time to post. I've been feeling a bit worried and wouldn't have really spoken about this in any depth in real life. You have made me feel a lot less isolated and low.

You can certainly get some spatone (iron supplement), have a couple of sachets of that a day mixed with orange juice, and yes a full on multi cut won't hurt either

My two are now 18 months and 3.10 years, it does get easier, my eldest on her own is a dream, but then she was an easy baby too :)
18 monther, well I can't leave her alone for very long without her scaling something precarious.. At some point she'll be able to understand though and start being more reasonable, I keep telling myself :)

I'm terrible for going to bed at a sensible time, I aim for 11 but it's usually later, ie midnight. Get up about 7.30 (kids go to sleep around 8ish and sleep til then). DH each have a lie in at weekend on alternate days til 10 or so.

I would also consider taking a Vit D supplement. I was completely exhausted after both my pregnancies, particularly my second. Yes, I was busy, lack of sleep etc, but I just had no energy at all.

I was being tested for everything, when I heard a programme on radio 4 about Vit D deficiency. Started a supplement, and was back to my normal self in five days. I spoke to the doctor, and she just said, yep, that's probably it!

It won't hurt to start a supplement now.

You're allowed to find it tiring!

Has she started crawling? Don't underestimate how much energy you use chasing them around when they're on the move. I was going to suggest slight anaemia too tbh

mermaid i sleep at about anywhere between 12am-2am normally, and get up about 8am (awake earlier than that but i put dcs in bed with me to play or watch dvd so we can stay in bed bit longer)

i bet you will feel way more energetic if you do get the iron supplements and vitamins

Thanks everyone.

I'm away to get some vitimims this morning. It does seem like I'm going to bed abnormally early and to be honest, it is a bit depressing. Thanks for all the advice and sharing your own bedtime rountines. I'm looking forward to feeling a bit more like myself again!

Maybe you are depressed, that can cause tiredness too.
Have you been going to any toddler groups? Even if baby can't move around much, watching the other children entertains them and gives you a break. They generally have a little sing song at some point too.
You wil also get company and a chat to ther mums!