Mum - what's a dildo?

[beansmum]

This question came up yesterday from ds, he's 8. I told him I knew what it was but I wasn't going to explain it to him. I said I would tell him when he is older.

In my defence, ds seemed perfectly ok with the idea that I just didn't want to tell him, but I don't feel like I dealt with the question very well.

What should I have said?

You know I usually say that if a kid is old enough to ask a question,they're old enough for an age appropriate answer.But in this case I think I'd struggle to find an age appropriate answer so I'd do the same as you.

Today my 7 year old asked what castration was.

I'd want to know what had prompted the question.

"she Is a singer darling, her name is Diddo not dildo"

Shall we make cakes now?

Something you don't need to think about for at least another ten years?

Hmm difficult!

we were listening to a podcast of the news quiz. The context made it difficult to lie convincingly, it was obviously something 'rude'.

not that I usually lie to my son...

I have never not answered before - that's why I feel I dealt with it badly, but I'm glad other people would have struggled to answer too!

DD (9) asked me what a vibrator was a few weeks ago - we were in a novelty/joke shop in Tokyo, and mixed in with all the Hello Kitty stuff were things like a vibrator made to look like a lollipop. DS (13) picked it up, and when I read the label and said what it was, DD overheard. I just said it was something she didn't really need to know about for a few years - I could explain if she really wanted, but I thought it was better not. She accepted that.

I do explain some adult things (eg she likes Ed Sheeran, and I had to give a fairly toned-down explanation of what the A-team was about ) so I think she accepts that if I say she doesn't really want to know yet, I'm probably right. She does know all the basics, but I think sex toys are a step too far for a 9-year-old. She's still at the age when anything to do with boys, kissing, sex etc is 'yuck'.

My DDad explained what a prostitute was in the car after tea at Grannies.

I was also about 8 and the yorkshire ripper was all over the news. I'd asked, in front of everyone "what's a prostitute? Daddy"
He'd hissed "I'll tell you later"

I think you could just say it's a model of a willy/penis/word of choice and that people think it's funny. (Likely to understand that as all small boys IME find body parts/functions hilarious). You don't have to explain that it has any kind of purpose.

If it helps, my mum used to think it was a term of endearment like 'ninny' or similar. I told her what it meant when I was around 12 or 13!

I had exactly the same question from my DS when he was about 11. I just told him it's a plastic willy and he was satisfied with the answer.

isn't it one of those wooden rails at hand-height you get in Victorian houses?

:)

Castration one is easy - explain in farmyard terms, esp horses. Dildo harder because of people factor and yes, I'd have bottled out too!

Inca,castration wasn't too bad - I explained in simple biological terms relating to a pet.

Thank goodness,I was lucky enough to get that question,and not the one the OP got!

Ive had that question too,I gave the plastic willy explanation im of the opinion if their old enough to ask their old enough to know .......

Although it was v awkward explain to dfil (aged 82) what 'dogging' is .

I've had that question and answered in a similar way to you but actually I like the plastic willy explanation, I'll use that the next time the subject comes up.

I totally disagree with the view that if a child is old enough to ask a question they are old enough to understand the answer, a reception age child who is exposed to all kinds of words in the school playground is in no way ready to understand them all.

Ahhh but an answer appropriate to their age I meamt .

nick - in that case my answer is "wait until you're a bit older"

Just a word from a wise aunty to a nephew who at the age of 6 asked his mum the same question, re: dildo. My sister being of the nature if he's old enough to ask then he deserves an answer (age appropriate of course). She to went down the plastic willy route.

Next day in school dildo was the talk of the day by all accounts. Nephew found the thought of a plastic willy rather funny and proceeded to tell anyone at listened that you could get a plastic willy... But he actually he worded it with the word dildo... "do you know you can get a dildo?'

Sister was rather embarrassed and then changed her tactics on what to answer truthfully and what not too. That said, it was rather funny!

oldest found greek phrase book and wanted to know what a vagina was - pronounced va gina (as in girl's name). look on her face, priceless. Dildo's no idea but good luck

I asked my mum this same question and about 11 (24 years ago). My mum asked me why I wanted to know and where I'd heard the word. I told her my DB had just called me a stupid dildo, my DB go into trouble. . Where my 9 year old DB heard it, well who knows.

Well you cant blame your brother this time lol.