Can't take bedtime!!

[OhWhatNoooow]

I guess this is more of a vent, but I would love to hear advice from wise mumsnetters as to how to solve this dilemma!

I have 5 children, from newborn to 10 yo. I give the kids dinner at 6 and they should start getting ready for bed around 7. Then the 3yo and 5yo should be in bed by 7:30 and the 7yo and 10yo by 8:15. But whats happening is they keep delaying bedtime by finding things they HAVE to do at that moment, then they need a drink, then they want me to lie down with them, and then, at 10:15, 2 of them come downstairs crying that they are staaaaarving. Because my dh and I feel that the kids take advantage of me because I'm too soft, I've started saying no to food after 8pm. So, even though they probably were hungry I still said no food now, but I felt like a real evil mother. They said they hate me etc.. But if they had gone to bed when they were supposed to they wouldn't be hungry! What can I do about this? I have such trouble being firm but nice. Either I'm too soft, or I end up shouting and losing it. Is it ok to say firmly 'Go into bed, now' with a stern look, or is that mean? I just want ome time to myself in the evening, is that too much to ask for??

I've only got 2 dc's and I find it hard enough so no wonder you need to vent.

My ds's are 5 and 7 and try every excuse under the sun - tonight ds1 couldn't sleep because of the sound of the rain!

All that works for us is to say at 8pm (or whatever time you like) bedtime cuddles are over, I love you, but I won't be talking to you. And then literally just sit in my room and then wordlessly put them to bed if they come out of their room or are messing about. If they get a toy in their bed and are messing about I just go in and take the toy away - they soon get the message. This usually lasts for a few days, then they slot back into behaving themselves at bedtime for a few weeks, then something like a late night at a family event, or being allowed to stay up for a film will trigger that bedtime naughtiness again and we have to start over.

Hope that helps.

And fwiw I don't think you are evil - if you had fed them at 10.15 at night surely they would be back down tomorrow asking for the same?

Bump

My post completely invisible then is it. Fair enough.

Apologies LargeLatte, I totally missed it!

Thanks for posting, it seems like a common problem I suppose, but wearying nonetheless. I always feel like I'm being mean if I'm not being loving and emotional with them. But sometimes I feel like enough is enough, I mean business! Then they don't understand my change of behaviour, why I'm acting tougher now. They tend not to listen to me anyway, thats a whole other story....