is 42 too old to go for number 3?

[meysey]

I'm dithering. I'm thinking of trying for another, but have two lovely DSs already. I'd love a DD but I know you can't get them to order... The age gap might help it stop being a nightmare as my oldest is 6, youngest is 3.

Is it too much to take on at my age? Do you really need a big car, au pair etc to make it work?

Generally I feel quite youthful. But I have had miscarriages in the past so worry that I might be setting myself up for heartbreak as you are more likely to have miscarriages as you get older.

I had my 4th at 42, meysey - the older ones were 11, 8 and 4 (nearly 5). I have 2 girls and 2 boys.

I would defo say go for it - with 3 you can get by with an ordinary car, and an au pair is a luxury, not a necessity!

(I had no m/cs though - that is a factor you'll have to consider seriously. Good luck )

A woman a school has 3 kids, age 9,7 and 5 (almost) and is expecting no4 any day. She is 48.
Very fit, healthy and energetic. I don't think it really is your age as much as how you feel. I'm 37 and don't think I could do it all again, but its really hard to judge how others will feel.
Not much help, sorry!

o, I thought a mumsnetter had found out about me.....
I have ds 5, dd 3 next months and , well you ]can guess my age. Now pg with no 3. BTW, also had mc 10y ago and 1 y ago, but there you go.

DH wants a bigger car and is just using no3 as an excuse, and certainly no au-pair, although not sure what to do with childcare.

Had my 9th at 43. Also 8 m/c. Must admit 4 of those since turning 40. So, no I don't think it's too much based on age alone. The m/c's are upsetting but I was prepared to endure that in attempting to have another baby.

And no, I don't think you really need a big car, au pair etc to make it work.

Ask yourself if you would later regret not going for it. And it's not definite that you would miscarry again.

Wow juule - you have 9 children! Fantastic

FWIW, I am 42.5 and have a ds (2 last week) and a dd (4.10) and I had a miscarriage in between. It is hard work, but you already know that! I'm sure there are threads on here saying that going from 1 - 2 is bloody hard, but 2 - 3 is easier.

Good luck in whatever you decide

juule..9 kids?? am confused??

i would hate the thought of being pregnant now. but then I guess i feel my famioly i complete

No use asking me, I had my first (dd) at 43 after years and years of trying, and its great. A close friend had her second at nearly 44, and is tired but happy.
Another is pregnant again at 46, and my sister's best friend thought she was menopausal and discvoered she was carrying (healthy) twins at 49....she already had two older kids...admittedly, she is fairly exhausted these days!

Juuule - Have you had 9 kids and 8 m/c, Or one kid and 8 m/c?

I am struggling to cope with my two - and no m/c so the best of luck to you either way - even one m/c sounds horrendous

Hey, if it floats your boat, go for it. But better you than me!

Physically no but I wouldn't do it again for all the tea in China!

wow what a bunch of energetic and positive MNers! am feeling more hopeful already...

My gran had a 'change of life' - yeah, her life did change! - baby, her 7th, at 47! She thought she was having the change and didn't find out she was pregnant till she was 5 months along. Not planned, but he's the bright spark of the family - a consultant anaesthetist w/two grown daughters of his own these days.

My MIL had her third child two days before her 44th birthday.

She has more energy than me I think (my SIL is 15 (today )

busybusybee - 9 babies + 8 m/c

My SIL is 43 and has a 22 year old, a 3 year old and a 6 month old.

Just seen this and have to say hats off to Juule. 17 pregnancies? 9 children? 8 m/c? (you poor thing). Please tell us more!

And I bumped into an antenatal pal yesterday, who is 43 and wanting a second...[smile}

9 babies my god. what are they?? sex wise?? how old??

Well my first isn't a baby anymore (surprise, surprise). He is 18 and at Uni. Then there are 3 more teens b,16 g,14 b,13. The 'little ones' are all girls aged 11, 9, 7, 6, 2y8m. With the first 4 I thought it was a fluke that I had had a girl. Then along came 5 in a row.
M/cs were between 6weeks and 12+weeks mostly of the 'missed' type.

I am dying to ask how you manage Juuule, but I am not sure you have the time to answer! I thought I was doing well with 4 but 9!......

Personally I think you are nuts! Having two with a 19 month age gap has nearly killed me (I'm 34 this year) but if you think you can cope then go for it. I'd still like a third but am quite concerned that my marriage wouldn't last- but that is just me. Mariella Frostrup had one at 42 and one at 43 didn't she - on age alone there is no reason not to.

Juule - you deserve a thread all to yourself!! Well done you!!

Had a third at 41. That gave me three children under 4 and it was hard but think it would have been despite my age. I'm very fit which I think has helped me to have easy pregnancies (and a home birth with number 3 ).
I think its not so much the age you are now, but what age you will be when they start school, then secondary school and then university. It does worry me but we so felt it was right to have a third and our third is the most cheery, happy little boy.
A friend with three said to me 'Be really sure you want a third' and I know what she means. It does make life more chaotic in lots of ways and you need to feel you have really wanted that change in your family.

Juule, respect!