Moving house and city with a 3 year old - how best to handle it?

[hollyshiftwells]

We're moving with our 3 year old DS from SE England to Scotland in later summer. We lived up there until a couple of years ago but obviously DS was too little to remember any of it! My family and friends are up there. DS is very settled in his current nursery and has close friendships with several children, one little boy in particular.

Does anyone have any advice or experience of how best to handle the move? When and how should I tell him? I was going to get him as involved as possible, for example looking at the new house (when we find it) online etc, picking things for his new room. But I'm really worried about unsettling him. Any advice gratefully received!

I think you just have to tell him clearly 'this is what is happening, won't it be fun to live near Granny!' That's what i did anyway. I would tell him as soon as possible so that he has time to assimilate and get used to the idea. Let him tell his friends about it e.g. let him take pictures of the new house (when you find it) into school to show to his nursery class. My 3 were 5, 3 & 1 when we moved from London. The 5 yr old and 3 yr old were very concerned about leaving their friends and it definitely was hard initially when we first moved - they kept asking when certain of their friends were going to come and stay (never, I hardly even knew some of the parents) which was v upsetting, but really - they both adapted very quickly. My 3 yr old used to 'write' letters to one of her little friends for a good year after we left (i.e. stick stickers and draw all over a piece of paper and then ask me to write how much she loved and missed her) and we used to get similar missives back, which seemed to help the transition (I was worried that it might make it worse constantly reminding her of her friend, but it didn't, it was definitely good for her to feel she wasn't forgotten). 5 yr old used to properly write cards to her friends and loved getting replies and photos etc.

All I can say is remain resolutely positive and open about the whole thing, talk about it regularly so it becomes the accepted norm, and I am sure that he will very quickly adapt.