Oh God, DS escaped this morning

[ShittyMum]

Woke up to DP shaking me saying, "DS isn't here!" as he ran around looking for shoes.

DP went to look for DS and I phoned 999. Luckily he'd been found at the end of our road and was taken to the police station, who returned him within 10 mins of my call.

DS is 4 and is awaiting tests for autism, so wasn't able to give his name, my name or DP's name (we have tried to teach him, repeatedly, but he doesn't understand that I can be called anything except "mummy")

Once again, I feel like the worst mother that has ever existed (I was hysterical) and the PC explained that he has to refer to SS for any incident involving a child.

Are they going to take him away from me?

To clarify, we're moving house next week and all of our boxes are currently stored within our bay window - the window was locked but DS climbed out of the window to escape - we live in a basement flat so our window is at the same level as the floor.

That sounds horrible.

Dont worry too much about the SS thing - they will be approaching it from a point of view of seeing of you need more support rather than wanting to take him away.

Oh, it doesn't sound like you're an awful Mum at all. I'm sure that SS will see that.

Is there some kind of identity bracelet that your son could wear, with his name, and your name and contact details?

They won't take him away, not even if you slapped him hard around the house, screamed obscenities in his face & reeked of booze when you talked to the Police.
Oh, and would increase the risk if the child looked seriously scruffy & beaten up. In those cases SS would come talk to you strongly, but still not just haul him off.

Sorry about your stress. I've had... 3 toddler escapes over the years? Two times we didn't realise & somebody else brought the child to our door . I was a serial escaper myself back in about 1970, three times the police brought me home. Especially embarrassing because my mother actually worked for CPS.

Have a cup of tea and chill out. He's safe and you're now aware of his propensity to escape so you can plan for it.

When you're calm and can sit down with your DP you can think about each room and the exit routes (in this home and the next) in them and how you can make sure they are secure (in such a way that you and DP can open them if you need to).

Social Services will not take him away for this, if you are lucky they will offer help.

OMG that must of been shocking. Thank goodness he was found so quickly. When my ds was 2, he disapeared. I was pregnant at the time, and we live on a main road, I was running up and down the road in tears, my heart was in my mouth. He was found, he had locked himself in our car. The minutes felt like hours.

Thank goodness all is well, and he was found quickly. Im sure ss will asssess your case quickly and realise that it was a genuine mistake.

How terrifying!

That happened to a friend of mine, nothing happened with ss.

We double lock the door to stop him escaping, he can work all locks it seems! The window he climbed out of was closed and locked when we went to bed. Usually we don't have anything near the windows because we know he climbs, but we don't have anywhere else to store the boxes we've packed.

Had a coffee now, DS has had a bath and a tantrum about coco pops, all is back to normal it seems

They might be able to suggest different locks or additional things to make it harder for him to escape in future.

Just in case (and I hope it neve does) it happens again could you get him a bracelet with your phone number on? Something like this
www.hsamuel.co.uk/webstore/d/9497579/silver+children%27s+diamond+set+id+bracelet/

It happens, I found a three year old in my front garden. His mum was visiting a neighbour and he had learned to open the door himself.

It happens. He is OK, stop beating yourself up.

SS won't take him away, what a shock tho

I remember when my dn disappeared, when searched the whole, up and down the roads. We were just about to call the police then dn appeared laughing that he was hiding in the wash basket and we couldn't find him. Those minutes felt like hours.

It happens, you are NOT a bad mum

you can get alarms that sound when a door/window is opened - ask on the SN section, I am sure people there have used them.

it must have been terrifying for you, and I am glad ds is safe and well.

my dd1 (7, has severe ASD. is verbal, but would not necessarly answer correctly if asked name/address/my name etc, even though she knows those pieces of information) wears an ID wristband at all time - will have a google and see if I can rememeber where I got it, hang on

here - dd1 has one of the Vital ID velcro bands. I (and dh) also wear medicalert wristbands when out and about with her, with info on about her/us, in case of accident etc (sounds paranoid, but I do a long school run with her everyday, and have had enough near misses wrt car accidents etc to wonder what would happen if I were incapacitated in an accident)

Oh good lord! That must have been the worst awkening ever! I cant even imagine how scared you must have been. You are not a bad mum, you just have a little houdini on your hands! Im glad your all ok now though.

Well, we triple locked the front door last night, completely locked the windows, and DP even put sellotape over the locks on the windows.

Didn't stop DS trying it again though