I am so sad about my DS starting school. He's only turning 4 in late June and still seems so young! I guess it's just really hit home that in no time at all, he'll be a grown man and gone. Every day when we have our long hugs on the sofa Im starting to think soon enough, he won't want this. My little boy will be gone.
Of course I'm happy to think of him growing into a confident and happy adult and I want that, I know my feelings are selfish and I'd never get in the way of his independence. But secretly, I feel overwhelmingly sad, like every day is a day closer to losing my son. I know I need to change my outlook, and think of all the fun yet to come, I know this is irrational, but somehow i'm stuck in this cycle of viewing each milestone as the beginning on the end.
Ds is my only child and I just feel like where have the past 4 years gone? I love that he calls me his best friend, the way he runs to me when I collect him from nursery with the biggest smile on his face, because I'm a single parent I feel like it's me and ds against the world. One day he'll move away and I'll probably be lucky to get a phone call a week from him! How do I change my outlook when it's not enough to keep telling myself this is positive and natural and I'll always be his mother?