does your 1yo really have a routine?

[MySonIsMyWorld]

Our DS just turned one, and he really doesnt have much of a routine he doesnt sleep through and doesnt stay in his cotbed at night most nights - does it matter? we try to put him to bed at the same time each night but doesnt he will not go down!
What time does your 1yo go to bed whats your routine? we carnt put him in his cot and leave him to sleep we have to lie in him on our chests and pat his bum and then transfer him to his bed - i feel like i am doing it all wrong. He is suppose to be in bed at 7 but he is still up playing with his bricks now!! He has been to bed in his cot but then he woke up and will not go back to sleep. Also what times do you let your dc's have a nap and how long?

I hope im not messing him up and failing as a mummy!

It's whatever works for you really, if you are happy with the way things are then no need to change.

My DD is 16mo now & does have a routine. At 12 months she went to bed a 7pm-7am most nights, napped around 2 hours in the afternoon and around 40mins in the morning (although she dropped morning nap shortly after).

This worked for us, although it could be inflexible cos she will not really nap out of the house except in.a car or for a short time in the buggy so it'd swings and roundabouts really.

You're definitely not messing him up or failing him, really you're not! Are YOU happy with him being up in the evenings and not sleeping in his cot? That's actually what matters. For him, as long as he's getting enough sleep so he's not miserable, it really doesn't matter where or how he's getting it.

I must confess you sound like a much more patient mummy than me, mine were generally in a routine at around that age because they were terrible sleepers so I had to actively sleep train them because I couldn't handle it. If you're happy to pat him and sleep with him then carry on - all that love and cuddles must surely be very very good for him.

If you're happy, then don't worry! Personally, I am a stickler for routine and my DD slept from 7 - 7 at 12 mths. She had one nap during the day for about 2 hrs but I never let her sleep later than 3.30pm so that she was tired enough to go to sleep at 7

Thanks for your replys. I'm going to try the 7-7 sleeping routine from tomorrow and the no napping after 3.30! Thanks for making me feel better, my son carnt be too happy because im finding it harder and harder to put him down when he is tired now he just screams so something has to give.
Does it always have to be mummy putting them down also or can mummy and daddy do it alternativly?

Don't worry, you're not messing him up! Ours had a routine, but it was more around what we did, rather than the time it was done IYSIM? Ours was (and still is):

Dinner,
Changed for bed (gap between this and dinner if small child wired),
Brush teeth,
Story (or three),
Slowly up the stairs saying 'night-night hall, night-night landing' etc and then 'time for sleep' on putting down
Put down with soother in cot-bed.

If any proper waking after that then silently pick up, hug and gently rock for 30 seconds to one minute say 'night-night, time for sleep', very quietly and put back down again.

The pick-up and hug didn't always work, in which case we'd leave small child to complain for about 3 - 5 minutes before going back and repeating. That way, he's being re-assured there's someone there, but can't get second wind by being taken back out for play.

In terms of day-time naps - if small child was getting cranky then they'd be put down for 'five minutes quiet time' during the day (if they were still complaining after that point then we'd go in and say 'ok - enough quiet time' and take them up again. If they fell asleep, then great, they were tired.

I do avoid allowing napping to start past about 4 though as this did seem to affect the night sleep.

The above worked for us, but I'm sure you'll have a few other suggestions along shortly too. Go with your gut feel on what might suit your DS - you know him far better than anyone else does.

Also, can post what the rest of the day has in it for us if you'd like, but didn't want to add to the essay.

By the way - you really, really are not failing him.

Does my 1yo (14 months) have a routine? Yes. Is it a problem if yours doesn't? no.

DD2 (14mo) has: teeth brushed, grobag, books, boobie, and into cot (generally awake) between 7 and 7.30 (6.30 onwards if she is shattered). She generally falls asleep fine by herself. She will then sleep until sometime between 11 and 2, wake and need a cuddle and sitting with for 15-30 minutes, then sleep till 5.30, have boobie, then sleep again till 7.

DD1 woke every few hours till she was 3 years old, and we went through phases of making her stay in her room, and co-sleeping when we needed more sleep. Even now she sometimes will be put to bed at 7 but not fall asleep till 11pm+(she is 4).

DD1 and DD2 have always been very different. Your child will do what they will and you just have to cope! Sometimes they are easy, sometimes they are buggers.

Oops - x-posts with everyone else.

Definitely alternate parents - works wonders here anyway!

Definitely alternate - strength in numbers . It's much easier to be calm and patient if you're not doing it all the time.

I just struggle with the whole managing to read a book to him and then settle him unless he is on my chest lay down and i read to him that way i dont know! We normally do Tea at 5 just me and DS most times daddy works untill 6ish then we clean up, ds plays in front room i put in the night garden on, daddy comes home, bath, teeth, dressed, bum patting, sleep, transfer to cot..... so maybe i should fit the book in while bum patting? Also should i give night night bottle with tea or after the bath?
ohh its such hard work - really like the saying night night landing night night hall idea - never thought about saying night night as we went upstairs - way too tired to think about that! Thanks everyone keep um coming

I give DD bottle after stories, so our routine is 5pm tea, then play, 6-630 bath, stories, bottle of milk, brush teeth, cuddles, then we say 'time for DD to go to sleep, all the birdies are going to sleep, all the pussycats are going to sleep, all the doggies are going to sleep etc' then in bed with dummy & teddy. This will work with either me or DH doing it.

Oh, you all feed small children quite early - ours gets fed when DH arrives home (so around 7pm). Maybe that's why not so bad (mostly) to get to sleep - still has completely full stomach...

Thank you il try it! x

Do what ever suits you.

Bed usually at 8pm. Although we are going to move this to 7.15pm soon. Tea at 5, bath, story, milk then bed. Wakes at 6 or 7am. Sleeps during the day at various times depending on what we are doing. It was more routine with my eldest. He had 2 hours lunch time nap starting at 12 on the dot!

It all depends if you and your baby are happy ???

If you are then sod everyone else do what you want to and what makes you both happy :)

My 16 month has had te same routine pretty much from birth!! She is my 3dc so a lot of practice!!!

She goes to bed at 6pm all night till 8pm she then has breakfast about 8:30!! Lunch at 11:30 nap at 12:30-2:30 dinner at 3:30 ten bath at 5:30.
She is a very very happy little girl and this suits her perfectly!!!
If we are out we will adapt it!!

If we want to stay out later again we will just adapt and a late night won't be the end of the world for her!!

Dd (14 months) has a sort of bedtime routine in that we do the same things in the same order, but at the moment this starts when she looks visibly tired (yawning etc.), usually sometime between 7.30 and 9pm. We find that works best for us as she'll go to sleep happily then. She is a very lively one and sometimes needs to run around to burn off energy in the evening. we have dinner quite late too, all together at about 6.30-7.00.

Naps are when she is tired as well, it varies depending what we're doing (she will zone out in the car or pushchair on the way home after a morning running round the park/at a lively toddler group). But at the moment she's having no more than 20 mins a day, would love a couple of hours again to get some housework done without her 'helping'!

Just do what's right for you all, as long as you're all happy then that's all that matters.

Yes mine (16mo) has a routine and has had it since he was 6mo and we went to a sleep consultant. He's slept throughy ever since.

We do dinner at 5, playing, bath at 6 and into pyjamas, downstairs for night garden, then upstairs for a story, into sleeping bag and into cot.
Same words - night night poppet, mummy loves you very much, see you tomorrow.

I don't think it matters in the slightest that you haven't got a routine unless it bothers you. If it does, I would try the book my sleep consultant wrote, you can get it on amazon I think. She's called Andrea Grace and she saved me

xkatyx wow.zer. That's quite something.

Ds is 12 months and our routine is this: up 6.30, nap 9.30/10 for 1.5 hrs, lunch 12, nap again no later than 2.30. Dinner at 5.30, play, bath & teeth at 7 then bottle then (fingers crossed) bed. Until I went back to work last month he's always napped in his cot in the day, and fed to sleep at night. At the moment, we're cuddling to sleep too, it takes anywhere between ten and thirty minutes and he won't be left in his cot either.

As long as I'm not still wrestling with him at 9 I'm ok with it, he seems to need it he's pretty happy and content, and although it isn't ideal if he's happy, us too.

My dd is nearly 11mo and I've always had a bedtime routine from day one and have always tried to do some sort of routine with feeds an naps although I feel Its only now all clicking into place properly.

Dd goes to bed between 6-7pm depending on what time she wakes from her afternoon nap. If she wakes earlier than 2pm then she goes down at 6pm if she wakes from her nap a bit later then she goes to bed a bit later. I try and make sure she is awake for 4hrs before putting her to bed. Is she sleeps past 3.30 then it takes ages to wind her down!

Hope this helps.

Thank you everyone!! x

My LO turned 1 last week & her routine is:
8am wake & milk
8.45 breakfast
11 nap
12.30 wake
1 lunch
3.30 nap
4.30 wake
5 dinner
7 bath (every other night)
7.30 milk & bed

Its not a strict routine, its just one we kinda fell into, because she really struggles to stay awake for more than 3hrs. We have had meltdowns when she is overtired so its important for us that she, gets her sleep when she needs it. To get her to sleep we have to lie her on our bed & cuddle her, when she is in a deep sleep then transfer her to her room (hoping & praying she doesn't wake up!!). She wakes anything from 2-10 times a night & if she wakes past midnight we bring her into our bed, where the 3 of us usually have a good nights sleep!!

Hth x