1) Stay at home mum: wearing tshirt that says 'breast is best' from the mumsnet shop. Has laminated costa coffee card on a lanyard and comfy pants. 2) Part time mum: as above, but wearing odd shoes, sweating profusely across the upper lip and already late for her three hour public sector job as a manager of something mundane. 3) Feeder mum: assumes you are vermin simply because you haven't eaten half your body weight in cadburys for breakfast. 4) Popular mum: leader of the mums army, and popular figure head of the more extreme mum mafia mobilising mothers with every text. 5) The Dad mum: the father that shares parenting duties. Terribly right on, knits his own yoghurts and wears hand stitched shoes. Has 'Poly Toynbee Rocks' sweater.