Stubborn 6 year old with dress sense. Do I commence battle or let it go?

[WelshMoth]

DD2 is 6 and a bit of a tomboy. She refuses to wear anything remotely feminine and girly and has now drawn the line at putting on her school uniform dress. It's infuriating to be honest, as she always looks the same in her jeans and t-shirts.

It's hardly problem of the year, but it's cause for falling out on a daily basis. Do I let her continue to call the shots or do I put my foot down? and throw her jeans away

Grateful for any replies.

Let it go.
What is the problem with jeans and a T-shirt? Unless it's a specific special occasion where a dress is needed - save your battles!
And FWIW, lots of the girls at the DC's primary school wear shorts and a polo shirt like the boys.

Let her be. What a silly thing to argue about.

Should you allow her to express herself through the clothes she wears or bully her into wearing ones you like because you like to make it clear that you disapprove of her appearance? Isn't the answer obvious? Why should she wear dresses if she doesn't want to?

Definitely just let it go in my opinion. I'd have no issue with this.

My dd1 refuses to wear dresses/skirts, dd2 refuses to wear trousers. not sure why it would be a problem?

As long as she wears the uniform, let her be with the rest. My DD has her own special sense of style. Mainly she looks like a refugee from a rag bag, however some things aren't worth fighting about.

Let it go. My dd is the opposite and refuses to wear anything practical.....like jeans! It's cold and raining today and she is wearing a flimsy sun dress. She is three, I let it go when she was two. It's not worth the fuss

do you know why you mind so much?

Let her wear what she feels comfortable in. Blimey.

My 5.5 yr old DD wears what EVER she wants. Including for school. She has options, dress, skirt, t shirt or shorts / jumper etc and then she chooses. It's HER wearing them and HER learning to take responsibility for her body.

Choose your battles-and that isn't one. She is the one wearing them. I had a friend when I was 20yrs whose mother was still trying (unsuccessfully) to get her DD into clothes of her choosing!!

What's the problem with her wearing jeans and tshirt?

My 5.5 yo DD wears shorts or trousers to school - she has zillions of school pinafores, skirts and gingham dresses and won't entertain the idea of wearing any of them.

At weekends she puts on dresses. I do not understand her logic. Unless she should really have been born a boy and wants to grow up to be a man that cross dresses at weekends.

As long as its school uniform I don't think it matters. I do expect my children to make an effort for special occasions, but that doesn't = wear a dress, it could just be smart trousers iyswim.

i agree with the other posters, pick your battles - and really, clothes shouldnt be it

DD1 has a friend just like this, in fact i got the shock of my life yesterday when i saw her in a summer dress! They are in year 3, and until this year her mum had bought her shorts and shirts to wear.

I would let it go. DD1 also refuses to wear pink or girly colours, thankfully DD2 is a girly as they come! :o

In the main I would say 'let it go'. My DD is 10 and usually looks like Stip of the Dump, if I can get her to where a half decent tee-shirt with her tatty jeans she usually chooses to cover it up with a scruffy old hoodie. Getting her to wash her face and brush her hair in the morning is not easy to say the least.

I say she has to make an effort if we are going to visit people or somewhere she shouldn't get away with looking a wreck e.g. she had a music exam once and I put my foot down and made her put a skirt on, it was murder. Any dresses I buy are always unworn so I long since stopped buying them, I've come to the conclusion she has to express herself her way and feel comfy.

Let it go, ffs.

Ooops I meant 'wear' not 'where' !

Let it go.
The only thing I insist my kids wear are coats in winter, seatbelts and sunsreen.
Nothing else is really worth the hassle :)

I would have a descending scale of priorities in this order:

what the school insists on (but presumably there are other uniform items she can wear)

what the family budget can bear

what she feels comfortable in

what is practical

what you like

Having had a mother who insisted on frills so she could go sentimental over the photographs, I really don't see the point: we had endless struggles over dressing, she knew I wasn't comfortable, my face looks miserable in the photos. Fortunately we weren't terribly well off, so a lot of the time I had to wear my brother's cast-offs. I look at the pink frilly photos and it's like seeing a dressed-up doll; I haven't got any sense that that is me. Me is the person in jeans and a pullover bailing out a boat or climbing a tree.

My own dd otoh likes feminine dress and looks good in it- because she feels good in her skin when she's wearing it.

We already let LO pick what to wear - usually this means a hat but no trousers, or knickers with no trousers but worn with wellies! Fine in the house but a bit cold without the trousers on outdoors.. this is why you see kids at supermarkets in Spiderman outfits or bizarre mis-mathes of summer and winter clothing of course...

I really think as long as our DD is dressed appropriately for the weather (not too hot or cold) then you should let her get on with it. Who cares if she wears orange and red together or will not wear a dress! It's not important and I actually think it's great that she has not (Yet - she will of course in time) sucummed to the sad thing that is peer pressure and the desire to look the same as her friends and fulfill a certain stereotype. this will, sadly, come in time, so please enjoy this wonderful time of freedom whilst it lasts!

Let it go. At least you won't have one fight I can see coming - DD is 8 and loves school summer dresses, give it a couple of years and we may have a falling out, as IMO pubescent girls don't look good in huge versions of the sweet little gingham dresses they wore aged 4. I just hope she goes off them or saves puberty for secondar school ... I do think little girls can look very cool in school shorts, DD's friend absolutely rocks her brother's hand-me-downs.

Let your DD be herself. My DD2 has been like this since she's 27 months. She's ten now and still only wears boy clothes (except when she HAS to wear a skirt for school part of the year).

FWIW, I feel that my tomboy ways as a child have helped me do well in a male-dominated career.

Oh dear OP, looks like its unanimous - let her wear what she likes.

My DD swings between wearing totally girly stuff and wittering on about looking pretty so that boys will like her (she's 5 FFS!) and then wearing combat gear or trousers and asking to have her hair tied back so that people will mistake her for a boy.

At that age its about finding out who they are and what they really like - there will be influences from friends, TV, society in general and from you (my poor DD will never get a pair of Lelly Kellys, no matter how much she pleads!) but it doesn't need to cause arguments on a daily basis.

FWIW I feel sorry for the girls at school who wear flimsy sandals and skirts every day and always look neat and tidy, as I'm sure their experiences are limited by their clothing - my DD wears trousers some days, skirts with tights on others (she chooses, depending on whether she has PE, the weather etc) she always has rugged sturdy boys shoes for school and generally looks like she's been dragged through a hedge by home-time as she's been busy and active.

If she's wearing uniform for school and weather-appropriate stuff at the weekends, let her get on with it.

Major row with my mother on the occasion of my 4th birthday about wearing a pretty party frock (I tried to refuse but she insisted). I spent the entire party sulking & crying & my mom swore to never hold a party for me again (she didn't, either).

So you can guess what I think about OP's predicament.