is there a development stage / spurt / something hormonal going on between 4 and 5 that i'm not aware of?

[shelley72]

i ask because our DS (4.8) has been a nightmare these last few weeks - not listening, faffing around when trying to get out anywhere, whingeing, being ungrateful, saying 'i want' all the time and generally acting like a stroppy teenager. its driving me mad (we're also going through terrible twos with younger DC)!

i admit that its been an unsettling time with staying up later (holiday), lots of days out, impending move to 'big school' and the hot weather but i really dont know whats happened to my lovely boy..

we are instigating REALLY early bedtimes this week, just to see if its general over-tiredness and nursery are also encouraging good listening with stickers. he is often complaining of tummy aches lately and i wondered if there may be something more to it that he;s not letting on? he is quite a quiet, anxious child and will tell you things that are bothering him, but it takes a while to get it out of him.

so is there something key that happens around this age, is this 'usual' or do i keep digging to see if something is up?

thanks

"impending move to 'big school' "

This. I found my normally placid, cheerful, sleeps like a log, very much looking forward to going to big school (which was the same place as his nursery school with all the same people and they even did orientation visits to the Reception class) DS became quite twitchy and distracted in the run-up. Once installed he was back to normal :)

boys often get a testosterone increase around his age as well that can affect their behaviour so along with starting school etc and the hot weather i would say its just a phase tbh, my own 4yr old has been unsettled recently he is excited that he will be going to school with his brothers but sad he wont be going to pre-school and he has been a bit under the weather for no apparent reason, early bed and lots of cuddles and reasurance :)

Second a BIG testorerone surge-is not much fun whilst it lasts:(

I could have written this thread about my DS2 who is 4.4. Tummy aches, pains in legs, not listening,clingy,not wanting to go to preschool,except on the days they 'do' letters and numbers(preparing for school).
I'm pretty sure there is a hormone surge around now and then again at 7/8. I do think the weather is probably playing a part too.
I hope he settles down soon for you OP. Good luck :)

thank you, its reassuring to know that its not only my 4 year old doing this. more 'normailty', this week, more rests and his very helpful keyworker at nursery has really helped. we have been talking a lot about big school, and we had our parents induction mtg so i have finally been able to show him pictures of his new classroom, teacher etc.

am hoping that a quiet long weekend might do the trick as well.

thanks again

Actually there is no testosterone surge at this age - a myth, I'm afraid. There are no increases in testosterone between babyhood and puberty. It's just boys growing up. Girls also express their increasing independence but in different ways.

I thought it was true, Steve Biddulph mentions it in "Raising Boys". So it's a myth then?
Both my boys were at their very very worst at four. I used to call DS2 the poison dwarf he was so horrible. Lovely before and since though, 14 now .
It's a phase, it will pass. Don't give in to whinging though, they can be professional whingers at 4.
I also found that it got worse for a little while after starting school. They were angels for the teacher but evil at home. Brought bedtime forward to 6.30 which helped.

Yes, I know - in fact Steve Biddulph is one of the worst perpetrators of the myth! But there's absolutely no biological backup for it at all.