Hello, I am posting on here out of desperation as I hope someone will be able to help. I have a 4 month old son and a 2.8 yr old daughter. My Relationship with my daughter has changed beyond recognition since my son was born, I am really struggling with the change. We used to be so close, she was cuddly and affectionate, now she is more distant and by necessity has had to become a lot more independent. I am really struggling to cope with her behaviour at times. Some examples are we have been potty training because she started taking off her nappies and going to the toilet or potty! She has runs of a few days of dryness then days where she wees herself, seemingly deliberately. Today she was unhappy I had said no to her about something and a few minutes later she wee'd in her pants for example. I handle that really badly because I get angry and tell her she isn't a big girl like all her friends because they wouldn't do that which is really mean. She is quite sneaky, if she gets hold of something she shouldn't she kind of hides it but makes sure I know about it somehow. She is a nightmare at toddler groups, hitting and pushing smaller children and even at home when friends come. When she knows her brother is asleep she yells his name very loudly so he wakes up and cries. she has hurt him a few times when I have left them in same room together for a moment, she dug her nails in his ear a couple of weeks ago and drew blood.
Anyway, by far the most difficult thing for me is when she hits and kicks my baby, usually when I am breast feeding him. I just don't have a clue how to handle it. I started off by sending her out of the room after a fair warning, but that didn't feel right. I sometimes had to force her out and i hurt her in doing so and frightened her. I sometimes end up blocking her hits and the other day blocked with some force and she fell over and hurt herself. So after this I have been standing up with the baby and removing us from the room. I just don't know what to do but seeing my baby being repeatedly hit and kicked just makes my blood boil and it is the one thing I just can't stay calm about.m. I am with her a lot, she goes to childminder 1 day a week but my husband works long hrs and often weekends so not much let up. Also my son doesn't sleep during the day, he has maybe 3 20 min naps out and about but is a boob dependent sleeper (though he will sleep in the sling). He doesn't go down till 9 or 10 at night and feeds 3 times in night so I am exhausted and stressed about messy house, laundry mountain etc... I want so badly to be a good mum but right now I am failing. I am making her sound terrible, she isn't, she loves kissing and cuddling her brother, tries to reassure him when he is crying a lot, she loves showing and telling him about what we are doing etc. please help, I am missing my little girl and hating the snouty overbearing person I have become.