Probably been done a million times but tips on telling 2.5 yo DD that she is going to be a big sister?

[mrswee]

Hi

I am 13 weeeks pregnant and we are thinking of telling our 2.5 yo dd. We were going to wait a while but then a few friends started saying she might get confused if we don't tell her now but she hears chatting about it. Fair enough really, I have already had a few people congratulate me in front of her.

I have the scan picture so we will be showing her that.
She often esspecially when tried or grumpy or upset says 'I want to be a baby' and is at 2.5 in the stage between baby and little girl...

So I guess I don't want to push the whole baby thing too much and make her feel like she can't be our baby anymore ect

I have bought the book 'mummy has a house in her tummy'

we won't be finding out the gender so can't say bother/sister instead of baby

any other tips?

thanks

congratulations!!! DS was 2.9 when DD came along, we made sure that we waited long enough to tell him, as you have. i can only say what worked for us.

i think when we told him he was rather nonplussed by it all - later in to the pregnancy, we got him involved as much as possible - he named the bump (even DD eventually), helped choose nursery decor, helped daddy decorate the room etc. we also talked a lot about when he was a baby, if he wanted to, and looked at pictures of himself as a baby (2 year olds are all me,me,me arent they ). we just played the whole thing down really.

he never showed signs of feeling concerned, or feeling pushed out. it helped that when DD arrived she bought him a present i think! he took it a lot better than i expected. his was the only voice she responded to when i was pg, and despite their toddler squabbles they are still incredibly close. and even though he is now 4, he is still and always will be my baby .

hope it goes well and your dd is excited about being a big sister!

DD1 was 3.5 when we told her. We referred to it the whole way through the pregnancy as 'your baby' which I've since read is a good thing to do as it gives ownership to them as opposed to 'our' baby which could exclude them. She was involved the whole way through with choosing clothes etc and now she's delighted with her sister. Apart from the occasional swipe, she's really good with the baby.

Congratulations btw :)

Thanks for your replies, all very good ideas there. I like 'your baby' great idea.

I should have said also that part of my concern is that (fingers crossed) we will be moving house in a couple of months, full renovation needed done on the new place, lots of changes for DD, biggest ever in her little life.

But it will give us the chance to get her involved in sorting out a new room for 'her baby' I guess and the house move/renovation will probably be more in the forefront of my mind than the pregnancy which will play the whole thing down..
I am pretty sure the fuss will be all about the new kitchen/flooring decor ect.
I won't be able to help a lot with the house so will be spending lots of time with DD, which I might not have done so much if we were renovating and I wasn't pregnant.

I'm also pregnant with DC2 and DS will be 2 and a half when he/she is born in August.

I have been borrowing books from local library about 'new baby's' and reading these has helped him a bit. My local library was really good as I asked the worker for some good titles and she gave a list of ones in stock which saved me having to dig about for them.

I've taken DS to most of my MW appointments and also my 20 week scan - more out of necessity as we didn't have anyone to mind him, but also as a way to 'introduce' him to the concept of a baby.

One of the most recent thing I've done (now I'm entering the 3rd trimester) is encourage him to treat one of his teddy's as a baby - got him to put some clothes on it, put it down for a nap etc. If your DD has any dolls I'm sure you could role play the big sister role with her.

Great tips - I'm 10 weeks and DS will be 2 1/2 when no 2 arrives. He has taken it in his stride so far. He likes pointing at body parts so one day he pointed at my stomach so I said "mummy's tummy - there's a little tiny baby in there at the moment" and he went BABY? in such a cute way.

So now if he points and says "baby" we say "yes, and I bet the baby would love a kiss" and he kisses my tummy (melt).

I'm keeping it very low key at this stage as it's a long way off but kind of drop it in in a matter of fact way now and then.

Love the idea of role playing later on - he's already good at offering his monkey a cracker and a drink so I think he'll respond well to this.

Yes to all of these. DD1 was 2.3 when DD2 (8 weeks) was born.

First I just started chatting to her about the new baby in Mummy's tummy. I started telling her she was going to be a big sister, but said in a 'woo hoo! Hooray!' type voice

I took her to all of my MW appts and got her all excited when we listened to the baby.

I encouranged her to feel my belly and feel the baby kick (I did have to fake a few kicks by jerking my belly if DD2 wasn't being compliant!)

I got her a book called Cat's cuddles which basically says the new baby gives the best cuddles.

The new baby bought her a present (a doll)

I let her choose DD2's name (not as bad as it sounds, she was given two to choose from!)

And mostly it helped that she's a fairly laid back child. She just took it in her stride and accepted it. So much so that we managed to potty train her a week after the baby was born (although this could've been a positive action because it ensured she got loads of attention!!)

I personally at that age wouldn't make too much of a big deal of it at this stage - mention it - and look at the book I guess she will be nearly 3 when the baby is born - and 6 months is a very long time for a child that age
make sure she knows -nearer the time- that babies are not that exciting to start with - and can cry at lot - and can make mummy and daddy tired. one of my friend - her DS1 reacted quite badly to birth of his brother and turned out he was expecting someone to play with
other thing is if you are going in hospital for 2nd one - make sure she is used to someone looking after her - possibly over night as then it will be easier when the time comes

DD1 was 2.3 yo when DD2 arrived - we didn't really make a big thing of it until I started showing - and then I only made it to 35 weeks so DD1 got a very special Christmas present.

Another book that I REALLY recommend reading is Za-Za's Baby Brother

DD1, even now at close to 6, still loves this book and remembers reading it when DD2 was 'in mummy's tummy'. It talks about how there is not much room on mummy's lap for cuddles, and how mummy goes to hospital, and everyone comes to see the baby whilst Za-Za plays alone. It is a REALLY easy book for little ones to understand that babies take time and are boring - but then points out that when the baby sleeps there is loads of attention left for Za-Za.

What also worked for us was having another preemie (DD1 was a 32 weeker) so DD2 was in hospital for two weeks which gave DD1 loads of time to get used to the idea of bringing her home!