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So that wasn't my finest parenting moment.

8 replies

LynetteScavo · 24/05/2012 20:54

DS (9yo) showed me a newly aquired object (similar to a soft toy) that he had "found under the bed" (we keep all soft toys under the bed. Most of which belong to DD, who is constantly acquiring new soft toys) .

I realised he must be lying, because if he had found it under the bed, he would have presumed it was DD's. Or maybe I could just tell he was lying.

Anyway, I gave him a few chances to tell me where it was from, etc. He maintained it was from under the bed.

So I got cross, told him he had the time it took to brush his teeth to tell me where it was from, then marched him downstairs, glaringly like an evil headmistress, told him he would stand there until he told me exactly where it was from. (Cue tears and a confession he had saved up his truck money and bought it from the book fair at school) Apparently he hadn't told me because he thought I would be cross (no idea why he thought that. I would have muttered "For heavens sake, you need to eat a snack if you aren't going to eat any lunch". but I wouldn't be even half as cross as him lying about it!!!

We had a talk about the family being a team, and we don't lie to each other. And we did make friends and have a hug before he went to bed.

What I want to know is, how do you get children to come out with the truth without putting bamboo under their nails (or what ever)? Or how do you get them not to lie in the first place?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LynetteScavo · 24/05/2012 21:13

OK, so I take it no one has the answer.

Is evil parenting the way forward?

OP posts:
DaenerysTargaryen · 24/05/2012 21:22

I make it in her interest for dd to tell me the truth, we have an agreement, if she tells the truth she doesn't get in that much trouble for whatever she's done. If she lies (it really hasn't happened much maybe 3 times) her punishment is a big one. She knows how much I value the truth from her and I've always said that no matter how bad it is if she tells the truth I can help her fix it. She's 6 btw

Tryharder · 24/05/2012 21:22

I dunno, I think you handled it ok Smile

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BigTeuchLittleTeuch · 24/05/2012 21:27

See, I still use the 'spotty tongue' technique so not sure I have a valuable contribution...

(magic spots appear on their tongue when they lie which only adults can see)

And mind-reading...mines think that I can actually read minds.

I know, I know...none of that is helpful in teaching the value of truth. Grin

queenofthepirates · 24/05/2012 21:27

I think you did okay, you value the truth and he knows that and hopefully he can tell you something and you've reassured him you won't be cross. All super important in case there comes a day when he has to tell you something big and worries how you'll react.

LynetteScavo · 24/05/2012 21:32

I do say "I can tell exactly when you are lying", even though I can't. Doesn't always make them come out with the truth, though. Hmm

Maybe I will adopt this new evil headmistress style more often.

(Yes, I'm the parent who doesn't really do punishment's, although I did start rethink that this evening when DD tried to get the cat to have a bath with her).

OP posts:
startail · 24/05/2012 21:33

No idea, DD2 absolutely pathologically hates being found out.

She gets in such a tiz she can't bring herself to tell the truth, even though, logically she must know she'll be in more trouble for lying.

Short of thumb screwsWink, I don't know the answer.

I think she's better now she's a bit older, but at 6-9 it was a real problem.

Especially as my normally honest DD1 sussed that parents would blame DD2 for her mischief too.

StrangerintheHouse · 24/05/2012 21:39

Ooooh DaenerysTargaryen I like that idea, thanks. Will be trying that out with ds in a few years.

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