DH and DD not getting on :(

[Sootica87]

My DD is 4 1/2 yo and just recently she has started being really unkind to her dad.
My DH is quite strict when it comes to discipline but our DH is ignoring him, whenever they have cuddles she starts getting upset and silly, saying there isn't enough room or something similar.
I've suggested they spend some time together and go out for the day so they can bond but we've just had another DD so our time is a bit short at the moment, not to mention overload of emotions and lack of sleep.
I'm all out of ideas! Its getting DH and me upset and I hate to think of how its affecting my DD. It doesn't seem to phase her at all but it must be getting to her.
Any tips or ideas greatly appreciated, I'm at my wits end :(

The rule in my house is that no-one has to be hugged/cuddled if they don't want to be. It's perfectly okay to refuse, and the offer will always remain open if they change their mind later. I think that if your dd doesn't want to be cuddled then that should be her choice.

She's presumably only recently got a new baby sister, with all the upheaval that goes with it. She's also having to learn to share you and her dad with a new person. It's understandable that things will be difficult for a while.

I can understand that, we don't force her to have cuddles, its just that she's so open and loving with me and used to be the same with her dad. But not anymore.
She absolutely adores her new sister and I try really hard to involve her so that she knows she's not getting left out and we still love her just as much. But I'm just afraid that her relationship with her dad is going to get worse.
I just wondered if anyone had any ideas we could try.

Try not to rationalise it in an adult way ie her turning against her dad. She is four, life is strange and she has recently had a new sibling . My dd is nearly 5 and goes through phases of refusing to speak to dh or hiding from him when he comes home. He doesn't take it personally! At other times she is all over him like a rash . I think four year olds are a law unto themselves!

Would she be more open to a (light) activity involving the three of you together? By that I mean something as simple as making a picture or playing a game together. Once she's okay with that you could try gradually withdrawing from the activity so that the two of them are together.

Congratulations on your new baby btw. :)

I know she's only young and the likelihood is she'll grow out of it, its just so upsetting to see her missing out on her dads affection and trying to reassure DH that it won't last forever and its not personal. I feel I'm stuck in the middle of them both at times.
Thank you coppertop, I'll have to try that and hope we can spend a bit more time together :)

He's an adult and she's a tiny child who's expressing what she feels. You shouldn't need to be looking after him. He can be compassionate and he's big enough to see the bigger picture, really, op. He can just love her more and show her what love can be.

Sorry, that sounded a bit short, I didn't mean it to be. It's just, her behaviour has probably got almost nothing to do with him, and everything to do with her age, her new sister, you being tired and god knows what else. Honestly, if you take it personally you're not going to have a very nice time. (spoken as someone with teenagers. Now is the time for you to practise emotional self sufficiency!)