Old school parenting methods… the ones 'wot' work!

[SunnySeeker]

I am a new first-time mum and in the weeks since my baby?s birth have heard many anecdotes from ?old time? mothers (and fathers) who have been there once, twice and three times over. I would be grateful if you could share with me the tips and tricks (the kind you can?t read in books) that you heard/learnt after the first time round for you. For example ?

• Giving babies cooled boiled water in a sterilised bottle to ease a fever
• Puffing out the inside of nappies to prevent leakages
• Brushing baby?s hair after washing to prevent cradle cap
• Not wearing a bra when possible to prevent sore nipples
• Settling a baby to sleep on his tummy, before craftily spinning him round once asleep!

Anything you have to offer would be much appreciated.......

The best piece of parenting advice I was given was to smile and nod when people gave you advice, and only use the bits that worked for you.

The other thing I did was not read any parenting book at all. Not one. Now I'm prepared to eat my words as they hit teenage years from next year, but up till now going with my instincts has worked well!

Cogito - thank you, you just made my day! I have had each and every one of them used against me as a child and I am sure to do the same in return to the next generation.

My mum still throws in the "What did your last slave die of?" and still gets the same arsey response I delivered as a teenager ("She didn't mum, you're still here!").

Emandlu - I agree about the 'smiling and nodding'. I have done this in response to pretty much most of the suggestions that have come from my beloved parents... my partner is amazed I haven't turned out a complete nut with some of their recommended methods on crying, feeding and burping.

My mother, who absolutely dotes on my little boy, today asked me if factor 50 suncream was "really" needed and worried it may prevent him from getting a tan. My baby is 9 weeks old!

Although I have broken the suggestion about not reading books. I have purchased many, far too many, and now returned to instinct.

I'm pretty sure that the answer to 'what did you last slave die of?' is 'Not doing as he/she was told' isn't it ?

I think the best rule is every baby is different, so if something doesn't work, try something else.

Mine wouldn't tolerate swaddling or sleeping bags, but my sisters sleeps amazingly in them.

He does sleep very well for naps outside the back door in a buggy, covered according to the weather which I know many people would be horrified by though..

I was born in the sixties and, my DM (who never throws anything away) was given a 'how to look after your baby' book... which she solemnly passed on when DS arrived. I read most of it with an expression somewhere between , and . I'm amazed any of us made it, quite honestly. My favourite, because I had a Vomit Machine of a baby and got through more Persil than I care to remember, was something along the lines of... It's not necessary to wash baby's clothes every time. Just wipe with a damp sponge and air on the line

If its 7pm and your baby is screaming like a banshee, I'm willing to bet its probably overtired. Stick on some white noise, loud, take baby to a dark room and rock them to sleep. However do your best to stop them getting that way in the first place - don't keep them awake more than 45 mins. Easier said than done I know, hence why dd (my second) lived in the sling for 12 weeks. And I mean she was rarely put down!

Do not, and I mean it, bother with a routine until baby gets to weaning age. Unless you've got an easy baby, you'll be tearing your hair out. Only things you need are a regular early bedtime, same wake up time in the morning and regular naps in the day.

Dont sweat about cosleeping, self settling or sleeping in a cot until baby is a few months old (unless you have an easy baby). I did with ds, nearly killed myself with the stress. Dd, didn't worry. Now at 5.5 months, she sleeps in the cot and is on her way to self settling. Enjoy the cuddles

Never forget to trust your own instinct, and remember that you know your baby better than anyone else. Also, with breast feeding, if you are comfortable and your baby is feeding, you're doing it right! Good luck!

Btw, I always thought the answer to "what did your last slave die of?" was "exhaustion!"

Thank you ladies for arming me with more answers to the "What did your last slave die of?" question.... I am now much more equipped for my mother's next extended stay with us.

Iggly - well done. I spent the first few weeks of my little boy's life co-sleeping with half an eye constantly open to make sure he was okay. It was lovely but after reading a story about an American woman who squished two of her newborns, I immediately panicked and managed to convince him (with lots of cuddles, no controlled crying) that the cot was the best place for him. He now, thankfully, sleeps relatively well for a breastfed newborn (waking once, sometimes twice and last night three times between 11pm and 7am).

Another question - is there anything in particular that anyone would have done differently in their baby's early years, with hindsight?

the acceptance that children are children and may be unhappy or rude or out of control no matter what parenting style you adopt. The belief that households need to be run in the interests of all the members not just the children
I did not get this with my first, i get this now with my second and i am much much happier (and i think so are my children)

Don't get too attached to any of baby's clothes/toys or anything, they will trash them, stain them or chuck them out of the buggy a long time before you realise they are gone.

Lavender oil may well work a treat getting baby to sleep

If you're in a foul mood, don't try and get baby off to sleep, they will defy you and you'll just get crosser.

My HV recommended a book to help my DD sleep post 6 months and it's CC-it worked like a dream and she sleeps extremely well. It's by Angela Henderson and saved my sanity.

Make a treasure basket for heuristic play when baby gets a bit older then ask family and friends to bring stuff for baby. Saves a fortune on toys. That said, some toys are brilliant but you can borrow many from toy libraries.

As soon as baby can climb stairs, teach them to go down as soon as possible

Lidl nappies are awesome.

I was going to post don't read parenting books, but Emandlu beat me to it! IMHO if you read them and the advice doesn't work, you will feel like you've failed. Trust your own instinct - or as I like to say - wing it!

(Oh and Emandlu - about the teenage years, I say again, wing it! It's going fine for me and she's almost 17! )

I was totally baby led with ds1 and his lack of sleep routine drove me to my wits end by 7months. Ds3 was a very similar baby (ds2 very different so did his own thing quite happily) so he was in his cot, door closed, blinds closed for all nap times at home, from day 1. Thinking about the hours/days/months I spent trying to ds1 to sleep I wished I'd listened more when my mum told me about routine and nap times.

sunnyseeker- I wouldn't put suncream on a tiny baby full stop because it is horrible thick gloop that always gave mine heatrash. I did , however keep them in the shade and never let them burn. It is quite possible that's partly what your mum means.
Also Vitamin D is mainly produced by sun exposure and we are now seeing children getting rickets again due to lack of exposure to sunlight.

My Mum is fairly balanced with old school and modern. It helps she's a very experienced children's nurse

When DD2 wouldn't settle at night, she suggested putting her down on her front, watching her fall asleep, then flipping her over onto her back, like you mentioned in your OP (didn't work though! She hates being on her front!)

Giving her a couple of ounces of cooled boiled water between feeds if she is constipated.

Teaching DD1 to go down stairs safely as soon as she started trying to go up them.

Getting DD1 to sit on the potty in front of the TV whilst training if she's reluctant to poo. It gave her something else to focus on and worked a treat.

Not to use Pull-ups, just put them straight into knickers as pull ups are basically nappies. If they're wearing just knickers it's a far more unpleasant sensation wetting themselves and they have more inclanation to use the toilet/potty.

Theirs probably a few more I've forgotten at the moment. Mostly I do think it's a case of individual babies, individual techniques. Some may not agree with what you're doing but as long as it's not dangerous or damaging then do what works for you.

Introducing the potty early on so they get used to it and ditch the nappies as soon as you can. Works a lot better than 'wait till they are ready'.