Giving presents to friend's kids *every* visit?

[jujumum78]

Twice now my toddler DS has been given a present by visiting close friends. Twice now I haven't had a present to give to their child in return, and have never thought to take one when I go to other friends houses for their kids. Is it customary to do so? I thought presents were just for birthdays and christmas??? It seems very unnecessary and expensive (just thinking of some of my wealthier friends who only buy their kids wooden toys!) and I'm sure I never got presents at the same age for no reason.
On one occasion a friend gave a present to another friend's child, but not mine. DS noticed and although I don't mind him not having a present, I do mind the blatant favouritism in front of DS.

do you see these people regularly?

i see some of my friends maybe once a year and will take a gift for their kids. I wouldn't if i saw them more regularly though

How about a magazine or some sweets?

Just like you would take cake or a bottle of wine.

To be honest, it's completely their own choice to give out presents like that, and you shouldn't feel obligated to do the same.
Yes, normally presents are only meant for special occasions, and most people stick to that, so I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you.
Maybe take a pack of cupcakes or a little treat like that next time, just to make yourself feel a little better about it?

As for the favouritism thing, maybe have a polite chat to your friend about how it may have affected your DS, obviously mentioning that you're not asking them to give him anything, but that you'd rather they didn't do it in front of him, as it is confusing for a toddler.

Some friends it's twice a week, some twice a year. But it's happened with both.

Why do you take a present at all? Am I missing an important social ritual? I'll blame it on my parents :-)

I still take the friend's a gift. I just don't get why kids have presents too.

tbh, I just thought that parents, like me, are too busy or sleep deprived to worry about presents for a friends kid. I have a hard enough time figuring out what my DS needs just to cover a day trip to another friends house!

If I see them once a year it is almost like a combined xmas/birthday present. it's never anything big either (pencils and a colouring book, a bath toy etc). the parents get a bottle of wine!

I wouldn't if I saw my friends twice a week - I agree that is odd