sad child

[weeonion]

Hi folks. my dd (5) can be an intense child. We had a close family bereaveemtn last year which really affected her. Recently though she has been talking about waking up "feeling that something bad is gong to happen". I remember those feelings from childhood as well but dont ever remember talking to my mum about it. what would you say to her?

Ask her what she thinks might happen? Talk to her? Tell her that she can call for you any time of day/night and that you are always there? Sounds like after being bereaved she is now worrying that she may also lose you. Probably just needs lots of reassurance and possibly needs to talk about what happens when loved people die (I mean what happens to the ones left behind and how we can remember the loved one who has gone). It will not be easy (for you, probably) to talk about these things but I am positive that talking is better than not talking!

gourd - thanks.

When i ask what the "bad" thing might be - it usually involves someone she knows dying.

i have posted on here afew times about my worries for her. I know it seems alot stems from her grandmothers death last year. We try and be open, talk to her about it, reassure her etc. we have made scrapbook and photo albums of her gran and we all look at these as a family together. talking and the option to talk has always been there and when she doesnt want to - she will say " i cant really talk about it at the minute".

i suppose i am just worrying that this is the beginning of something bigger and more serious. she is a very intense and somewhat kid at times and then at others - shes like her own personal swarm of sunshine.

"something bigger and more serious"

My view is that the personality traits we have in childhood are quite pronounced/exaggerated and we tend to moderate them as we get older, rather than the other way around, most of the time. I wouldn't therefore worry that her tendency to express fears or think deeply about sad things was going to evolve into a depressive personality, if that's your concern. What you're doing by reassuring her and addressing her fears directly is teaching her that bad things happen but that it's possible to carry on positively ... resilience. Resilient people tend to be the most stable.