Big age gaps - 5 and 7.5 years

[Gorran]

Have just found out I'm unexpectedly pregnant, this will be our third child, the others are currently 4 and nearly 7.

I'm fretting about all sorts of things, age gaps being one of them, along with middle child syndrome (I'm an only so totally unaccustomed to the whole sibling thing anyway) and how on earth I will find time for all of them.

Any words of wisdom/advice?

Thank you

My nephews have a nearly 6 year age gap and it has worked out really well. DN1 was thrilled to have a baby brother and was old enough to be involved while still being young enough to feel important at having responsibilities.

Oh, and congratulations! :)

I have a 7 year age gap between mine ( by choice ) it's fine . Dd lives her little brother and considering she was an only child for so long she has adjusted brilliantly !

Hi there, congratulations!

I was worried about age gaps too, my DCs are 7 and half, 2 and half and DS is 3 weeks now.

The elder two have taken to DS amazingly. They're helpful, and they adore him. As for middle child syndrome, I'm just making s conscious effort to make sure both of the elder DCs get at least 2x10mins of me to themselves uninterrupted every day - this is there opportunity to talk to me about anything and with 2 year old, we have at least two playtimes every day, she chooses what we play and I play

So far so good, no tantrums about spending too much time with newborn etc, so long may it continue.

My advice would be to involve your elder DCs in your pregnancy as much as you can, and make them feel important x

Congratulations :)

I'm 7 years older than my sister and TBH I think she probably felt like she had 3 parents! We weren't close when I lived at home simply because she was small enough to be annoying and I was a moody Kevin. I do regret the fact that I went off to Uni in a foreign country when I was 18 and so never really got to know her during the interesting teenage years. Having said that we are a lot closer now and get on very well - still a few arguments but what sisters don't fight?!

Your older two will probably adopt a 'we are wise and older than you' stance towards your new addition in the early days, but I imagine your middle child will be able to switch between sibling friendships quite happily (IMO 4 years isn't too long).

As AKMD has said, the oldest child will be able to help out a bit which will be good!

One piece of advice I would give: don't, for the love of everything, assume that the younger kids will do whatever the oldest one does in life (re:A-levels/degree/career path). My sister got so sick of being told 'Herrena never did this' that I'm sure she hated me quite a lot! I'm sure you have already resolved not to do that though....

You'll find time for all of them, don't worry

I've got almost 5 years between mine, it's fab!

DS1 adores the baby, he cries if we have to go out without him.

DS1 is old enough to be quite self sufficient which makes life easy for me - eg he can toilet himself, fetch a snack or play by himself for a bit whilst I'm BFing the baby or putting him down for a nap. I can also trust him to be alone with the baby while I nip into another room for a minute. He loves the responsibilty of taking a nappy off or washing baby's face.

DS1 is at school so I have time alone with the baby and to sleep.

Baby is kept very amused by DS1 and just tags along in a sling to all his activities. I do worry they may not play together much when they are older but there's no guarantee they'd get on even if they were closer in age. DS1 spends ages shaking the baby's toys at him so I live in hope!

oh dear i have a 15 year gap lol......ds is 20 the other is 17 and dd is 5 and its great, the boys adore their little sister, give her tons of attention with no squabbling over toys and their girlfriends love to babysit :)

I have almost exactly that gap ......ds1 is 18 ds2 is 16 ds3 is 11,Ds1 and 3 have always been v close they spend a lot of time doing stuff but on an adult child level ds2 and ds3 get on well also and it just works out that as ds3 wants something wrestling or skateboarding etc etc ds2 has a year or so ago stopped bothering with it .....its a great age gap imo.

Thanks all, really helpful replies. I'm still struggling to get my head around this unexpected addition, but I'm sure it'll all work out.