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Original poster

Why would a parent not be permitted to see their children?

17 replies

AmnesiaCustard · 18/05/2012 15:41

My H has two teenage children. Their mother recently remarried a chap who seems perfectly nice but he has two children aged 7 and 9 and is not allowed to see them. not even supervised access. We are told the court has ordered this.

This seems very strange to me. Are there circumstances where a father is forbidden any access to his children and if so, what are they? Would you be concerned about any other children he has contact with? If his exW is making this up, why does he not make any attempt to see them?

OP posts:
Octaviapink · 18/05/2012 16:10

You may never know the circumstances, but I would be very concerned about my children having any contact with someone who was court-barred from having access to his own. In fact, I can say absolutely that I would not allow my children to have contact with someone I knew was barred from their own

boohoohoo · 18/05/2012 16:32

I`m afraid that if that were my DH, he would be demanded answers off the ExW and her new husband and the DCs would be living with us in the meantime. Obviously it could very well be nothing but not in a million years would we risk it.

LineRunner · 18/05/2012 16:36

The other couple are either making this up because he is basically a crap dad who is pretending he is not 'allowed' to see his kids to explain his lack of interest; or he is not someone who should be near kids.

Can your DH invoke 'Sarah's Law' here? Basically, ask the police if there is a danger to his DCs? I would try everything I could to make sure.

And like boohoo says, they would be living with me in the meantime.

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OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 18/05/2012 16:38

Linerunner makes a very good point about the possibility he is making this up.
If a court has ordered no access at all I would be very concerned.

ragged · 18/05/2012 16:40

I think that your H could petition under Sarah's Law to see if the man has relevant history, also I think the SRO & some other criminal convictions would be on public record. I also think it's possible for people to be unfairly given such bans, so would be open-minded until I knew something for certain.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 18/05/2012 16:41

Would Ss not be involved if a known danger to children was in a relationship like this?
If he was on the register they would be wouldn't they?

HecateTrivia · 18/05/2012 16:42

I think the children have to be at serious risk for the court to take such drastic action. Serious risk.

In your shoes, I would be finding out.

ragged · 18/05/2012 16:48

If he were that much of a risk to his own children he'd have a ban against contact with any children. Ie, it would be illegal for him to have contact with OP's step-DC, too. Which is why I think a court order is probably not the same as saying he's a severe risk to all children, more complicated than that.

I would ask him directly.

Original poster
AmnesiaCustard · 18/05/2012 20:31

Thank you for you thoughts so far. I am also of the opinion that there may be some "making up" going on here.

DH has asked his ExW and she says that her new H's ex is making up stuff about his drinking and brainwashing the children into saying they don't want to see him.

I still don't see a court ordering no contact with a parent on the say-so of a vindictive other half, particularly when the children were 5 and 7 at the time.
It just feels wrong to me, and rather suspect.

However there is little I can do besides support my own DH in whatever he chooses to do about it. It's flipping hard though.

OP posts:
GiveTheAnarchistACigarette · 19/05/2012 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Octaviapink · 20/05/2012 06:07

I believe a court order like that is a matter of public record - a quick call to the police might be informative.

linziluv · 20/05/2012 06:16

It would not be as easy as telling vindictive lies....exW would have needed substantial evidence to prevent him going near. The courts quite often are too generous with contact esp with DV etc, so I'd be demanding answers....somebody said SS....yes do it! If this were true they would want to know about any children he was living with and you'd be within your rights to not return the kids until you can get some advice.

onadifferentplanet · 20/05/2012 06:30

My ex husband has always told people the court has said he can't see his children. What the court order actually says is that he can see them at a contact centre. As he can't see them on his terms he considers that as the court refusung him contact IYSWIM.

LineRunner · 20/05/2012 14:40

My ExH tells people whatever he thinks will get him the most sympathy. I'm afraid it happens. And few people challenge men on these incredible stories.

MadamFolly · 20/05/2012 15:42

I would be finiding out as much as I could about this man, sounds really dodgy.

ComradeJing · 21/05/2012 09:39

You HAVE to find out more. Either this man is a liar or he has done something extremely serious. Either way you must find out to protect the DC.

pumpkinsweetie · 21/05/2012 09:45

Sounds extremely dodgy, either its a lie or this man has done something very serious
I wouldn't want the children anywhere near him until i found out.
Like pp have said your H should be able to petition to sarahs law to disclose whether this man has any history of abuse towards children

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