DD1 firstly telling fibs, now lies - what would you do?

[LovingHal]

As the title states DD1 (5yo) has got into the habit of telling what was initially white lies which I scolded gently for, but today her teacher pulled me to one side to tell me that she has been lying and hiding other children's things and not admitting it was her. She has never been in trouble before so I apologised and said I'd deal with at home .

She knows that is very very wrong and I explained to her it wasn't nice to lie/take others things but is there any other things you would all advise? I told her the tale of the boy who cried wolf as another deterrant but would like some serious tips that work, I don't want to get to a stage where I don't believe anything that she says.

Hope someone can allay my fears with useful help.

Thanks MNers

As a general rule with mine, if she lies she is in worse trouble.

E.g. She stuck her tongue out t her siter the other day, for which Iw ould have probably just said it wasnt nice and made her say sorry. But she then lied and said she didn't do it. I gave her another chance to tell the truth to which she said she was licking her lips. So because she lied she had no tv after school.

I also try to be nice and thank her and make a big deal out of it when she comes to tell me that she has broken something or hurt her sister by accident so she isn't scared to tell me. But that doesn't sound like your issue.

I have explained to her about lies and the boy that cried Wolf. And also told her that if she lies I won't believe her when she is telling the truth.

If it is out of character have you maybe asked her if anything happened. If you only got the teachers story maybe there is more to it?

Meant to say stuck her tongue out at her sister. Stupid phone :)

Thanks Housework, I asked her and she said it was over lunchtime a few days ago, her friend had bought a little doll in to school she liked it and wanted it so hid it, but 'she wasn't go to take it home mummy'. The teacher wasn't stroppy but thought she'd raise, I still feel ill thinking about it. She's a PITA at home but generally I think she behaves at school, hopefully.

She has been totally acting up lately and DH has been shouting at her constantly, I wonder if this is a reaction to all the other telling offs?

LovingHal I can sympathise. We went through a similar thing with DD at the start of this school year (she was 6.2, P2). She told a series of lies about things that had happened at school eg that she had been chosen for the Pupil Council - I only found out because the names of the actual PC went on the school website and obviously hers wasn't there. There were other things too - we were really disappointed and had lots of talks about how if you lie you always get found out, how important telling the truth is (the boy who cried wolf etc). She had a week without TV too! In the end it seemed to be about popularity ie she wanted to be the chosen one, again difficult to explain but we tried.

It seems to have worked and every now and again we ask some questions just to make sure she is telling the truth.

Unfortunately DS, 3, this week has told some crackers about how his glasses ended up with the legs hanging off, but at 3 it is much harder to get across the message about truth/lies .... I wonder if it is in the genes (DH is prone to telling porkies) or just something all kids do at some point or another?

When I told my daughter about the boy that cried wolf, she said she had already heard it and it was ok because the wolf turned out to be friendly in the end. I wonder if this is some politically correct version she has been told in school or been on cbeebies or something. (or it could be a lie :) )

So I told her that wasn't true and the wolf ate the boy!

I know I shouldn't but Housework that made me laugh, nothing like fear to stop them in their tracks!

BirdyBedtime - I think it is in the genes too as DH bends the truth at times too!

Thanks for your tips, I am going to have stiffer punishments like no telly as she has been really testing me this weekend, I'm not sure why she is being so defiant at the moment.

So frustrating.