perspective please

[pugsmum]

I need a little perspective on how to handle certain situations with and what is ? normal ? and what I should be trying to encourage /avoid or control !
I find when we are in the house he will not leave me alone he follows me everywhere and mostly wants me to pick him up at all times he does this hi pitched whining and bleeting it used to only be when he was tired or hungry but now seems to be all the time when we are in the house .. I can only assume he is bored but we get out of the house a lot . However when we are out a play groups he tends to go off and explore on his own rather than stay with the groups like the other children . and seem much more dis obedient where all the other children sit with there parents at rhyme times and story time and take it in turns he is running off on his own and rushing ahead !

Am I just over thinking it or are these things that I need to try to deal with??

At home He will climb on to my lap and fidget trying to climb all over me get up an d get down like he doesn?t know what he wants to do ..
I have always been very interactive with him we read , constantly chatting , playing games etc!

I find he is better if the TV is on but obviously try not to have it on very often maybe an hour a day when I need to get stuff done !

I am not sure how I should be handling this should I be giving him all the attention he wants ie if he wants to be picked up pick him up (which pretty much means not putting him down lol )
Or do I try to teach him to spend time on his own and not give him everything he wants ? and how do I go about explain this to an 18th month old ?

Sounds a bit similar to mine - we have (mostly) resolved it with doing the following:

Playing on their own - small children rarely start interactive play, with others, until about 3. Prior to that, they amuse themselves - if you have a look at others in a group, you will notice they are playing alongside each other, rather than together.

Running around - physical energy is improving, and they need to let it out - it may be better to bring him to physically active groups (say swimming) / playgrounds rather than to 'sitting and listening' groups. Mine has flipped from happy to sit for an hour to five minutes if lucky. In fact, one day, we ended up doing a roughly 2.5 mile walk to get rid of the energy - only carried for about 100 yards of that.

Whinging when not tired / hungry, constantly wanting attention - I say '[name], Mama needs to cook / clean / tidy now.' and then give them something to 'help' with - a duster for wiping the floor, pots and a spoon for cooking, lego etc. There are days when the whinging doesn't stop though, and at which point it turns to '[name], Mama is going to give you a hug and a kiss, and then you have to help. Mama can't carry you all day'. If it still continues, then it's a matter of biting your tongue, ignoring and hoping the tantrum doesn't materialise...

For the whinging / clinging particularly, it takes quite an amount of consistent repetition to reduce, but it will happen. For the hug/kiss I don't pick them up from the floor, but bend down to them (with knees straight) and hug into my legs - that way they can't climb up.

I'm sure there will be more along with suggestions shortly - hope something works, it is tiring when you can't just have an entire five minutes to yourself without them being asleep.

18 MONTHS is a difficult age for you and them. As explained earlier they have now found mobility that they simply can not get enough of. It sounds like your child has lots of energy and needs to be busy. Try indoor play gyms and more visits to the park. There the child can wander along without the need to worry about anything but picking up interesting objects. Take a carrier bag and let the child fill it with leaves and twigs etc. Once child has expelled its energy you will find it wants to sleep hopefully. I always went out in the morning did something energetic with them and then in the PM they would sleep. PM was then messy time, painting, drawing, mix some flour and water and let the child stick their fingers in it. 18 MONTHS is a big time for exploring the child is eager to learn, try more holisitic play rather than placing the child in a circle of plastic toys. Busy children tend not to be clingy. Chin up endure.....it doesn't last long in the scheme of things.

Another question I also wanted to throw in is that i find it difficult to get out in the mornings .. I find he wakes up at around 6.30am and is dropping off again by 9am . he is not very interested in breakfast and but is hungry around 9.30 10 ... in which case he is hungry and tired all at the same time and won?t eat coz he is tired and can?t sleep coz he is hungry (aaahhhh lol )

All the good toddler clubs seem to be in the morning i try to keep him up for a coupleof rhyme times etc a week but it is hit and miss if he falls asleep and if we do get to it and he is irritable , disobedient and grumpy .

While i totally agree that it would be a good idea to get out and active in the morning I find by the time we are dressed and fed he is tired again (and that is not good for anyone lol ) We go to play gyms at least once a week or a near by farm where i let him run around and look at waht he wants so he leads the way , walks to the shops and round the massive park and lakes around our house with dad nearly every day after work while get stuff sorded at home.. but mostly later in the day

Again I am confused as to whether I should encourage him into an afternoon nap time routine (which is sort of what I have been attempting to do but am not consistent as I am not sure if it is the right thing for him )or go with him and stop trying to get out in the mornings give him a later breakfast and sleep then get on with the rest of the day ?

Advise pleeaaaassseee ??
?

ps what is holistic play ????

Ok, yours is sounding startingly similar to mine. Only difference is mine gets up around 7.
What we do regarding the 9am nap is: dress small child just after breakfast Give a 'second breakfast' - a weetabix / small bit of porridge / fruit / bread / yoghurt etc., around 8.45
Nappy change after second breakfast
Put down for nap

That way, you're ready to just throw them into the car / pram and go as soon as they wake.

moonlight ... i have been trying it your way this week and is going well.

we get up and dressed straight away (well he does !)
and i put his coat and shoes on and he plays in the garden while i prepare bearky ... then goes back into the garden after . and goes back to bed after about an hour and a half ! he has seem ed much brighter after he has woken up and will have a short nap in the car around 3/4 ish !

thanx for the advise

Tire him out- get out all weathers and walk, run around and then give him some toys to sit down and play with by himself.