17 mo DS has started to hate being left at nursery

[theonlynonblonde]

DS has been attending nursery 3 days a week for the past 7 months and up to now, has appeared to love it. He didn't bat an eyelid when I left and didn't even seem that bothered when I reappeared at the end of the day!

Now, almost overnight, dropping him off in the mornings has become a nightmare. He cries and clings to me and it is really distressing. He isn't usually like this at all - in fact, there have been lots of occasions ever since he was born that I complained about the fact that he just didn't seem that bothered about me!!

I don't feel I can carry on putting him through it, but giving up work is obviously a massive step and one that I don't really want to take unless totally necessary. But putting my 17 mo through what seems torture every morning probably qualifies as 'necessary', doesn't it?

Any advice on dealing with this is welcome. thanks

I think they go through these phases and, for your own sanity, it's important to talk to the nursery staff, express your concerns and allow them to reassure you that all is OK. It isn't nice to leave a sobbing child behind as you go off to work.... ruins your morning... but IME they cheer up very quickly once you've gone.

DD has done this recently. About 5 months ago, when she was 19mo she moved up to the next room, and it really knocked her confidence. She was very clingy, hid behind my legs and absolutely refused to look at anything but the floor.

I started taking her favourite cuddly toy in with her, and 'made' her walk in with me holding her hand, rather than me carrying her. I also make sure we get there early, so she's one of the first in the room. I've noticed that, on the occasional days we're late, when the room's full of kids, she's very hesitant about going in.

Her key worker has assured me that she picks up once I've gone, and actually I don't doubt her for a second. When I pick her up, I watch through the window in the door for a couple of minutes and she's the life and soul of the party, as it were.

Talk to the nursery about it. If you need to, ring them when you get to work to reassure yourself that he's ok. And maybe try letting him take a comfort toy with him, just to build his confidence back up.

I agree that it could well be the age of the child and doesn?t mean necessarily that anything has changed at the nursery - though you may still want to check this for your own peace of mind. Separation anxiety and the toddler tantrums are starting around this age (normal development stage) so that may well be all there is to it.