Two under two - how does bedtime go in your house?

[pingulingo]

I will soon have a newborn and a 13 month old (ok, I have 5.5 months to go but already worrying!) and because of my DP working shifts, I will do most bedtimes on my own. Who has also had to do this and can offer some advice on how to manage? Especially if you had problem sleepers. many thanks.

With such a small age gap I did bedtimes with them both together (I had 16 mths). So DS1 had a bath with DS2 or DS2 in the bathroom in his bouncy chair, then get DS1 dressed for bed, then cuddles and stories together then sleep.

In the early days I would then sneak DS2 out of the room in his bouncer and keep him with me until time for bed.

IN hindsight I actually think bedtimes with two close in age are much easier than my friends who've had 2 1/2 or 3 years between kids!

Good luck!

I think im probably worrying too much - its the thought of them both crying at the same time and not being able to settle either of them that scares me. I'm hoping by time baby arrives, DS1 will be self-settling as currently involves feeding & rocking to get him to sleep. But you have made bedtime sound positively do-able!

It is do-able (my mum used to do it on her own with 4 under 3 which always used to make me bite my tongue when I wanted to have a moan !) but if you can do anything to make your life easier then do it now - i.e. try to help DS1 become more of a self-settler if you can, we stopped night feeding before DS2 was born, but then DS1 was a relatively easy baby/toddler so will depend of course.

hey there pingulingo I'm currently rocking this 'interesting' age gap, and my husband also works past 7. I was worried sick about how I'd cope, and at first it was quite stressful, because you so want everyone to be happy, all the time! Definitely, definitely work towards your son self-settling. It'll be such a help, even though he may regress for a couple of weeks when the little one is born.
Like anything with parenting; you learn fast on your feet and kind of feel your way to something workable. My baby is 4 months now and I feel totally confident. I was utterly quaking in my boots for the first couple of months but it's so much easier once you know your baby, if that makes sense.
So you learn by anxiously muddling through for the first few weeks. They will be absolutely fine, you will be a wreck (v temporary!).
You'll find a unique combination of what stuff gets you through bedtime (and any other times when their needs clash). My combination for instance includes various chairs (high chair to prevent toddler flinging himself into danger, bouncy chair, rocking chair, car seat, bumbo etc etc). It also includes two cots with mobiles/toys in (to be used as holding stations at various stages of the routine), a baby gym, a 'nest' for the toddler, made of cushions on the sofa(in which he's been taught to administer his own bedtime bottle if I'm tied up with the baby).
cbeebies and dvds are vitalto preserve your sanity, so get used to the idea of using them freely now. Unless you are wonderwoman, you will need them. I am unashamed to admit that I have a (small) tv/dvd near my toddler's cot, so that I can shower with him safely contained and watching postman pat while the baby sleeps or plays in the gym or whatever. You get the picture.

You will become very creative and very resourceful. You will be seriously tired at the end of each day. But once you hit your stride you really will have a ball. Good luck, and may the force be with you!

It's very hard to start with, because you will want to give your new baby lots of care but your oldest child needs you and it's hard to balance both. I used to cut corners - make simple meals, have a little extra bedtime TV for the oldest, no bath every night (or alternate nights, or sometimes just no bath for a few days. It's not the end of the world). I had a cleaner for the first few months (a couple of hours a week, it's worth it!). I tried to go out in the buggy every day, it was my way of getting fresh air, a bit of a stretch, and get both children to sleep at the same time!!! Shop online. Co sleep. Give the oldest as much affection as possible so that he didn't get jealous.

Yes, DS1 watched too much tv for the first 6 months, but it does help. Hearing the Thomas theme tune brings back lots of memories!

thanks for the tips and reassurances, am now feeling a lot more positive about managing bedtime!

I had 17m between. Bath them together, get ds2 out quite quickly and dry/cuddle/dress and sometimes feed sitting on bathroom floor whils ds1 finished playing in the bath. Ds1 played a bit in bedroom then stories together whilst I bf ds3. Then put ds1 to bed and then went and put ds2 to bed. Ds2 usually fell asleep on boob and slept thru ds1 going to bed so I just used to plop him in his bed! Not always that easy but general gist!!! Basically ds1 routine stayed same and ds2 had to fit in. Worked the same when I had ds3 less than 2 years later and was putting 3 under 3 1/2 to bed. All in the bath together and pretty much all to bed by same time.

What madmomma says.

My dh doesnt get home until half 7 and I was worrying about this too. We have a 2.5 yo and a 12 wo.

The first few weeks were pretty hard - dd (baby) was very unsettled in the early evening and didn't like to be put down at all. It made bathtime with ds very interesting!

It's much easier now that dd is more settled. We go up at 6 and ds 'helps' me bathe dd. She then goes into her cot while I bathe ds. Ds then has milk and stories while I feed dd. Works pretty well and is not half as hectic as it was.

Only downside is that it takes so much longer to do it all on your own. Being a glass half full kinda girl, I see the cuddles / milk / feeding as a welcome chance to lie down for a bit!

I have twin DSs - now 13 and a DD - now 11. When dd was born, DSs were 22 months and were going to bed at about 7pm (and generally sleeping through). Nightime wasn't too bad - it was during the day when it was difficult to spend cuddling time with DD - I used to feed (breast for a while but not as long as the boys), wind and straight in her crib to sleep. Although there were two boys, I seemed to be able to spend more time kissing and cuddling them when they were babies. As other mumneters have said, you get into a routine (sort of) and things do work out.