That sick feeling when you know you have been a crap mum

[bbface]

Today's lunchtime with my gorgoues 21 month old DS. Usually a fab eater, today playing up. Normal toddler behaviour. My reaction? To shout, bang down some spoons and basically huff about the kitchen.

Just had a cuddle and a snuggle, but still. That deep sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, remembering shouting and huffing as he looked at me a bit baffled. In every other vein of our life togetehr we have a wonderful time and I hardly ever raise my voice or do aynthing, but anythign relating to eating... well, I am demon mother.

Thanks for listening.

you sound like you have other stress going on. you're not a demon mother. we all snap at times. it;s human to do so. whats troubling you?

Don't worry, you are not a demon mother. All mothers shout and huff sometimes. You are only human. Not that shouting and huffing is in theory the best way to do it, but I think you are right to try to instill good eating habits. I have always made it clear to my 2 DDs that they need to eat what I give them, because I give them delicious nutritious food which is reasonable for young children, don't expect them to eat mega hot curries, brussels sprouts etc so long as they have their selection of vegetables/ proteins etc which they like then I will give them those, and then they should eat it.

I am glad that I now have two DDs, aged 7 and 4, who are 'good eaters'. On recent occasions when we've had families with similar ages of children here to eat, none of them seem to be capable (or willing I suppose) of eating a remotely normal meal, only things like plain cooked pasta smothered in ketchup. And I'm not talking about toddlers, but 7 year olds.

Don't feel to guilty - we all shout sometimes!

I mean 'too guilty'.

Nothing going on really, just reacted way ott to nothing really big at all. Ensuring he eats well is so high up my priority list. My DH says he knows when DS has eaten really well as I am practically dancing around the room. It is odd, and I do need chill.

Thanks

hmm yes i think you might need to be a bit more flexible WRT eating. children aren't robots and sometimes tehy just dont feel like eating. the fact that you are practically dancing around the room tells me that you place far too much emphasis on eating. this isn't healthy for a toddler to see. firstly because they should eat because they want to and not because it makes mummy ecstatic. and secondly, toddlers know how to push your buttons and if he knows he can get you so wound up by not eating then you could find yourself in a huge long power struggle. relax. some days he will eat well s0ome days he wont. as long as generally he is eating enough and a good variety you are doing a good job.

Oh bless you, you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself! Toddlers are hard work! My ds is a couple of months younger than yours, and he is turning into a pickle with his food. Yesterday, I made him roast, which he usually likes. He had a few half hearted tastes of it, before throwing it all over my newly cleaned and hoovered carpet. And you do see red! I nearly flipped out! I have to count to 10 in my head very frequently. You are not alone! hugs to you, being a mum to a toddler is no easy feat

Oh bb I know how you feel. I got up late the other day, I was a snappy cow with ds, breakfast had to be hurled down because I had caused us to be rushed....he just went along with it, bless him, trying to help me (he's 9, btw!) by finding my keys. I drove like a maniac to school in a horrible mood and tipped him out!

I felt like shit all day and cried when we got home out of guilt. He thought it was funny.

You're not a rubbish mum. You sound like a very good mum but you have to make yourself at least act relaxed about food/mealtimes at this age or else you will create a problem.

Your job is to provide healthy balanced meals, but you cannot make them eat. Gentle encouragement is fine but know when to back off.

I have found my children to be good eaters up until about 2 when they will assert their independence over everything. Just keep offering a variety of foods and in time I have found they have started to eat well again.