Did you make new mummy friends with dc2?

[soandsosmum]

I'm pregnant with no 2 and wondering how and if I'll make new baby mummy friends when dc2 is born

Did you do antenatal classes the second time?
And how do baby groups work with a toddler? (Dc1 will be 18m)

I know I still have previous friends, but none of them are crazy enough to be having a second dc so soon

I made a couple of new friends via buggy walking, but IME making new mummy friends with DC2 is much harder.

I'm early days yet (ds2 is only 1wk!) and most of my 'mummy friends' from
Ds1 have had 2nd dc already but I'm still planning to go to some baby activities with ds2 and also a couple of mums at ds1's nursery have just had new babies too and we've discussed meeting up for coffee etc. I expect that I might make one or two proper friends but probably more just acquaintances as won't have time to sit around in cafes eating cake as much as I did on my first ML!

I didn't bother with antenatal classes this time around. Some NCT branches run special classes for 2nd time mums which might be worth a look.

My ds1 is 3 so will be at nursery part of the week when I'm planning to do more 'baby' activities and then go to more toddler stuff when he's with me. From what I've seen most dc2 are brought to activities for dc1 and so if you do stuff for your dc1 you're bound to meet other mums with 2dc.

Will be interested to hear what others have done.

Bear in mind that by the time you're 8 months pg, a lot of your conversations with your mates will end up "Well, actually, guess what?"

You could go to an NCT second-baby antenatal class, which would enable you to meet new second time mums, or join a second-baby coffee morning group. Or just go to lots of toddler groups - much easier to take a newborn to a toddler group than take a toddler to a baby group.

Yes, but I deliberately did NCT classes again because we'd moved and I knew no one.

I was lucky our group gelled really well and we met up a lot.

I didnt do any classes second time round. I havent made any new mummy friends second time round, not one. Ifound I didnt have time to scratch my arse with a new baby and 1 in school, let alone forge new friendships. Ibarely have time to maintain the friendships I have as it is.

Im sure if you want new friends though, you can make them-go to groups and wotnot

Also, I think secon/third etc time round you are less PFB and less inclined to what to discuss in minute detail every aspect of babies development

And more experienced- so dont need to discuss all the details

I found with a pretty standard two year age gap many of my "mummy friends" from DC1 had a DC2 at around the same time anyway. We moved house when DD was 3 and in playgroup and DS was 5 and in reception and most of my school gates friends now are from DD's year as I spent that time hanging round at parties/playgroup etc and got to know people more. However most people round here seem to be more friendly with their DC1's year, just because they are the people that got in first I suppose! I wouldn't worry about it, if you want to meet more "mummy friends" with DC2 [vomit emoticon at name but can't think how else to explain it] and make the effort you will.

I'm on the cusp of making some (dd is 5 months) via DS's nursery. Have got talking to some mums and plan to bite the bullet and ask for phone numbers to swap and maybe meet up. Could backfire though as they might not want to

A friend of mine said she actually made more friends second time round - mainly because of taking her 2 year-old to toddler groups and her baby attracting lots of friendly cooing from the other mums who were there.

I'm expecting my second too - the birth will happen shortly after we've moved to a new area, so I intend to follow that strategy too!

I find that offering unsolicited admiration of other people's babies is almost always a good in when it come to starting conversations - I've made a lot of friends that way

Umm....no. I have to say I made minimal new mummy friends 'from' DS2. I think I just wasnt able to/didnt do as much in the way of groups. I threw myself into baby groupage with DS1, because I had the opportunity. We did sign and sign, we did swimming, we did baby gym, we did all blinking sorts.
DS2 got to go to one or two baby groups but its quite hard to sit and chat when you've also got a rampaging toddler on the go.
DS2 has been invited to two birthday parties in his 2.5 years (a 1st and a 2nd - different children though!) By 2.5 DS1 had been to so many I cant recall. although in his first year in reception he's probably been to more than that!

I only made one new friend with DD1 (caught on a bit late about ante-natal classes but luckily existing friends had babies in that year). So I very much hope that making friends with a DC2 is possible!

i made more friends when i had my ds2, cos i didnt really do the toddler and baby groups much with ds1. i have made some friends with ds3 too so really you can make friends any time. if you go to baby groups you will probably meet others with baby and toddler and same age gap

Nope, sorry! I had a 15month age gap and most of my NCT friends were back at work and not ready for their 2nd baby yet. I have since ds1 started nursery and met lots of other mad mums who have 2 very close together.

I did nhs ante-natal classes for pregnancy 2 (as opposed to NCT for pfb). I then had the good fortune to meet a mum with a toddler my age. When out and about I see loads of mums in my position (double buggy) and usually get chatting. I also have one day a week where dd1 is in nursery so I can do baby massage with dd2 and when there have met mums in same situation. Actually I'm finding it easier with dd2 as she's an easier baby, dd1 was a very unsettled baby and it made groups etc really hard work, I'm more relaxe about the whole thing now and will chat to anyone. I still prefer my real friends who existed pre babies. :)

I ended up with a 3.6yr age gap so all my mummy friends from #1 had had #2 and already gone back to work/moved away by the time I had my #2.

So I've been going to baby groups and meetups and have met some nice people who hopefully will become friends - #2 is only 3 months so it's early days. Also some pre-baby friends now have kids or are unemployed and able to meet up!
Twitter has been really useful for finding out about local stuff.

I've been really lazy with DC2 as I haven't had the same desperate need to meet people this time, as I was the first of my pre-dc friends to get pg.

I would have happily done the NCT second-timers course but there wasn't one available here. But, I'm lucky in that quite a few people I know have had / are due to have their second soon. It's not the same as the big group I had with DS1, so I'm a bit sad there is noone who I can discuss poo with to the nth degree on a daily basis, and that DS2 doesn't have any of his own "friends" yet, but it doesn't bother me too much. BUT I am going to make an effort to go to a few more groups now DS is on the move as I think he's fed up sitting at home with me!

Nope - didn't have time for all that socialising with mums after DS2 came on the scene as DS1 started nursery so I was busy with the nursery run with him, and then at home breastfeeding the rest of the time with DS2....it's a very different experience second time round IMO.

I have a 3 year gap between both my DC so it wasn't really ideal to be going to groups anyway as DS1 had nursery each week day.

I didn't go to antenatal classes for either of my DCs (2.6 age gap).
I made friends in the library and at church mostly, it's a golden time for friend making as you're so exhausted you lose all social inhibitions and think you can make friends like 5 year olds do ("hello. I have new shoes, will you be my friend?"), the odd thing is, that's how I met most of my really good friends, too tired for shame.

I did a NCT class with my second child for parents with other children 12 yrs ago and our friendships are the still going strong having lost one mum to breast cancer and one of the children to a brain tumour.
Would highly recommend doing something.