in need of some advice please..

[xxvickilouxx]

hi im am new to this so please bare with me..
i have a 2 and a half year old daughter. which at this moment in time i am struggling with.
for the past year and a half she has had this habit of ripping and pulling her hair out, and most of the time eating it too. she started doing it to other children and my friends cat too. i have taken her to the doctors and they tell me that it could be a phase.. and another who told me that there is a condition but she is too young for treatment i have tried ignoring it as advised and tried telling her off, talking to her about it nad distracting her but nothings seems to work.. hoping to find some advice or someone who has experienced this as im at a lose end now.
Also i am having issues with her behaviour she does not listen to me. and i know i am at fault for being a little soft on her, not always following through with punishment. but its got to a point now where something needs to be done and i have to be honest im stuck.. sometimes i feel like i am being to hard on her and others too soft. im struggling with finding the balance.
i would be so grateful to have some feedback and advice.
thankyou vicky :)

Do you think the two could be connected? Hair-pulling and attacking people sounds like a stress reaction and small children particularly can find lack of behavioural boundaries quite stressful.

On the behavioural issue I find it helps to set expectations at the outset, mention the consequences of bad behaviour, and then follow through if necessary. The expectation-setting is a good opportunity to express confidence that they can behave well ... 'I'm looking forward to the party aren't you? I know you're going to play nicely with the other children and have a lovely time. I do not want you to pull yours or anyone else's hair or we will have to go straight home'

You've cut her hair really short now, I expect. Good luck

If I were you I would speak to the GP again about it. Insist to see a specialist of some kkind, or be refered to pediatrician. Also, can you keep a diary and try to see what triggers hair pulling - is it when she is tired, or angry, or hungry, or frustrated. See what triggers her behaviour.

Also, when did this start?

Sometimes toddlers have very strange habbits that reassures them. Is she attached to a blanket / toy? Could you try replace hair pulling (if it's a reassurance thing) by a new soft toy? Every time she does it, you encourage her to stroke her new toy instead?

I am not sure if I'm making any sense, but it's not unheard of, I have a friend whose daughter did that. The little girl twisted and twisted her hair whilst sucking her thumb, and often ended up pulling her hair out and sucking on it. She did the blanket trick - try to replace one habbit with another one basically - and it worked.

I do think though that you should try to see a specialist about this, especially if you think it's because of anxiety.

This may be a dumb suggestion, but what worked for my DD's constant sucking on her hair was putting it up in a ponytail so it couldn't reach her mouth. Maybe if your DD's hair was put up she would at least be more conscious of it before she started pulling on it, and might give her a reminder to stop, at least on herself? Then once she dropped the habit on herself it would help her stop it with other people.

Hope that helps.

There's an episode of Supernanny that looks at this type of issue (think it's one of the Extreme Parenting ones...) - it's on Youtube, might give you a few ideas...

Good luck, tricky one to deal with.

It's called trichotillmania,
But she's too young to diagnose.
Hair pulling will feel like a compulsion,
She will really want to do it, and feel better for having done it,
If u tell her off for it, she will find ways of doing it when your not looking.
She may do it more when stressed, but u may see her do when shes relaxing, like going to sleep, or snuggled in front,of tv
I'd suggest not mAking a fuss about it, it will probably be a passing phase, if not, seek gp advice,
Maybe give her something to keep in her hands, a really soft small teddy or something she can stroke and pull the fluff on ???