Need a bit of wisdom re girls friendships!

[Molehillmountain]

Dd is six and in year one. Friendships have been a bit up and down this year after a solid run in reception. Her teacher is very laissez faire about it, which is probably wise. I kind of need the long view on this. Can it all turn out okay if friendships are a bit dodgy at this age, and dd is a bit to blame for being bossy? I need permission I guess not to get too involved, step back, hug when needed, that kind of stuff. Or should I be 'managing' a bit more, inviting for fun playdates? I'm rubbish about it all and this year has felt like being back at school myself. And now there's no party invitation for the on off best friends....

Step back and put your focus on encouraging positive personality traits and self-esteem in your DD. If you know she's bossy, for example, encourage teamwork. All helps to improve resilience which is what this phase is basically all about.

Thank you! I would like to fast forward this bit I think! Should I completely avoid negatives? I want to guide her in a way that my passive mother didn't, but build her up at the same time. I just want to implant a "good friend" chip in her brain. I have stepped back from having loads of playdates as they hadnt been going well, but dont want her to miss put either. Btw, your posts are always so wise.

(Thanks) I'd avoid getting embroiled in the negatives but keep an ear out if you think things are escalating into actual bullying, deliberate exclusion or that kind of thing. That's when it gets nasty. Remind her what good friends look like so that she doesn't feel she has to compromise her own standards in order to be accepted. Widen her social circle with group activities. But mostly remind her that anyone would be lucky to have her as a friend and, if they don't want to be, it's their loss.

Oh bother-def no invitation and dd in tears when she found out this morning at school. Party girl a bit flouncy and queen bee about it-but they are all six after all. Told dd not everyone goes to all parties, gave her big cuddles and told her how much I love her, how great she is and what lovely things we're doing at weekend. Told lovely t a about it and she said she'll look out for dd-im not convinced that dd will be grown up about it. Feel six again . But acted like the grown up. Aaargh !