Being rejected by ds- starting to really get to me

[raininginbaltimore]

DS is 2.7. For a few months now he only wants daddy to do everything. I thought it was a phase and just went with it. But it is now, refusing and rejecting me. He won't hug me, let me touch him. He screams if I try and dress him, play with him, anything really. Daddy has to do everything. He has now started saying that he doesn't like me, and only likes daddy. He tells DH that I shout at him (I haven't!) DH is being good and encouraging him to be with me etc. But it really hurts.

Last night he had night terrors/illness- something that caused to scream for a couple of hours. He pushed me away, screamed like a banshee when I got close. When I left room and DH went in he was calm ,chatting etc.

I am pregnant with dc2 at the moment (26weeks) so know I am more emotional than normal, but it is really upsetting me that he hates me so much.

Sorry to hear about that raining- that must be really hard. Are you a SAHM? Often toddlers act like they prefer the parent who isn't around as much. But TBH I think it's probably to do with the pregnancy. I'm pregnant with DC2 too, and although DS is being fine with me most of the time (so far!) if I tell him (gently) not to poke/elbow/kick my tummy then he gets upset/angry and starts saying 'go away Mummy'. I think it's his first sense of the baby getting in his way in some way, and he reacts by rejecting me.

I read something about it on the internet and it said not to react too much, just to continue to offer love and help and they will get over it. Please know that he doesn't hate you - you're his Mum and he loves you.

How does your DS seem to feel about the pregnancy overall?

Did the rejection by any chance coincide with your pregnancy? You say it's been 'months' - did it start before you were pregnant?

It mostly coincides with being pregnant, probably from February. I work full time, as does DH, although I am a teacher so spend more time with him in the holidays.

I hope it will pass, I am trying not to let him see it upset me.

It's a phase. Both my DC's went through this at a similar age. DD rejected her daddy, DS rejected me. It's to do with gender identity.

Thanks. I hope it will pass soon. It is horrid thinking he resents me so strongly

My dd1 wouldn't let me cuddle her or put her to bed for about a year after dd2 was born. She's still a daddy's girl 3 years on, but our relationship is also great. I know it's blooming horrible, but best thing to do IMO is to back off, let him know you love him and are there for him whatever, but don't try to (or your dh try to) bargain with him or cajole him into wanting you instead of your dh.

Just wait it out, it will all settle down eventually (and will be very handy when the baby comes and you can't give him as much attention).

If its any consolation we've now got the reverse situation with dd2, which means that dh never has to go to her in the night lucky him!

Maybe an idea is to start reading new baby/big brother books with him, so he can start to relate to what the baby will bring to his life?