Grabbing granny

[Jac1978]

My mother in law is turning into a nightmare. Whenever she visits or we visit her, she grabs my baby daughter straight off me and won't let me near her. This evening my baby became very distressed when people kept getting right in her face when she had been playing nicely in her chair. I was trying to comfort het but my mother in law kept hovering behInd me saying "give her to me" as if I wasn't coping. Then I was trying to get her into her car seat when it was time to go and I couldn't get near her. I'm finding it so frustrating and demoralising and worst of all we are going away with them next week! I feel sick with dread! Does anyone else have a grabbing granny?!!

My mum does this!!! She drives me potty. Whenever DD is a bit upset and calling, 'mummy!' she picks her up. She has even been known to try to take a crying DD out of my arms . But don't worry, it won't last long - DD is nearly 2 and is now very strong and determined and vocal enough to protest and get what she really wants, which is me!

Your MIL just really loves your little girl and wants to feel that she is loved in return. Try and grit your teeth and get past this stage, it won't be forever.

I'd put money on the fact she remembers how hard it can be, and is trying to help you.
Many new Mums would appreciate someone giving them a bit of a break.

my mil was like this at first, but she was just excited

you have to be firm now don't post on here tell her! it's not often nice but if they are normal humans they would appreciate being told how you feel

Thanks nice to know I'm not alone! It's not done in a helpful way it's in a very domineering way and she's not an easy woman to stand up to. Oh well guess it's a case of gritting my teeth for now!

You will have to put your foot down if you're going away with them. I had a similarly over enthusiastic MIL and I just used to say firmly 'dd needs some down time now' and take her out of the room for some chilling out time. After a few visits of her being removed for half an hour at a time MIL got the message and now gives her her own space. (DD is now 3 and simply says "No thank you" when grandma gets in her face too much).

You have to tell her, calmly and politely, that over-handling babies is not good for them and it will make her distressed. Difficult I know, but best to define boundaries with MIL. Mine used to do this when they were babies. It drove me mad.

I would specify 'overhandling by strangers' - mummy cuddles are fine!

Yip I do. 'ooh give her to me, she wants her grandma' - no she fecking doesn't unless you can lactate milk.
Another fave is to tell me to stop talking because she hears my voice and wants to come back to me :)

Lol pukecatcher! Sounds like yours is even worse!

Since when has a baby's Grandmother been "strangers" ? and

I have one like this. DD was clearly rooting for a feed while MIL was holding her and she kept saying "oh your mummy wants to take you off me, she wants to feed you". Err no, DD wants to feed, I'd really rather she sat with you for a bit longer but she's at an age now where she's hard to feed because everything distracts her and if she's left till she starts to cry it's loads worse. Then after I'd fed her, I passed DD straight back to her and she fell asleep on her, MIL was so pleased and asked whether DD had ever fell asleep on me! Only about 6 times a day at least. I sometimes wonder if she remembers anything about being a mother herself. Surely everyone's babies fall asleep on them and if a baby is hungry you feed it.