my 10month DS still waking up every 2-3hrs through the night help!

[TamaraNicolaou]

As much as I love my DS one good nights sleep is all I need, all my other friends babies of the same age have been sleeping through the night for a couple of months now, mine wont go to sleep until gone midnight cos he wants to play and then he is still semi waking throughout the night. Is this normal for an active baby? Any helpful hints as to how I can get a good nights sleep?

Thanks in advance one very tired mum....

THANK YOU ALL!!!

Well he woke up at 9.15pm after falling asleep at 8.30pm, i fed him some casserole, we had some quiet time in my bedroom for an hour, then with a struggle, a few cries (but I stuck to it ) I finally managed to get him settled down by midnight, he woke for BF at 2.30 then not another peep until 8am this morning!

By jove I think we have done it!

So thank you for all your help it is greatly appreciated :) X

Hey, that is awesome news!! I hope you're feeling refreshed today.

I suspect you've probably got a few mental nights yet to come - the little buggers are good at lulling us into a false sense of security!

But I'm genuinely excited for you because my life got SO much better once we started getting sleeping under control.

What is your bedtime routine? We have dinner, a bath, clean pyjamas, a quick story (and used to be a feed but not any more) then straight into bed. I personally think that by keeping this routine pretty rigid, and by putting her to bed straight after her story, our daughter knows when it is time to sleep.

As your baby is used to going to bed pretty late, perhaps you could do your routine at 9pm and then try moving it 15 minutes earlier each night, until you're getting your son to bed at a time that suits you?

Generally he gets his supper at 7.30, then he has a play, then he has his bath at 8.30, then story/quiet time, until he starts to want to sleep, which is usually around 9pm, then I give him BF then sleep... I intend to stick to this and be a little more strict with him when he wakes up after 9, like last night it took an hour but with a bit of luck he will soon get the hang of it and not wake up at all....

I would have felt refreshed today, but DH and I made the most of baby free night LOL....

Just a word to say that as he gets older, a 9pm bedtime may start to be too late, particularly if you're taking him to groups etc in the mornings. Everyone has a different routine/bodyclock, but we've found 7pm is perfect as it gives us an evening to ourselves/for entertaining etc and we start the day at about 7.30am in time for groups etc which start at 9am.

That's awesome news! Hope it works out again tonight.

That is great news but like Loveisagirl I feel his bedtime may be quite late for a 10m old. My DS used to go to bed later but we moved it forward bit by bit so he is now in bed at 6.30 after bottle. He still often wakes after an hour but is starting to settle quicker. We let him cry for a couple of min, cuddle and calm down then back in cot. Is def getting quicker with less screaming compared to when he was going to bed later. He then guzzles his 10pm bottle and often sleeps till 3am now which for us is huge turning point.

Love I completely agree, 7pm would be ideal for me too, however for now I am happy with 9pm (tonight he fell asleep at 9 woke at 10 but settled down quickly after WHOOP! WHOOP!) one day at a time :). I will slowly but surely be bringing him earlier as I am sure the more sleep he gets at night the earlier he will start to rise, so I will work accordingly from now on.

I certainly couldn't have done it without you all though...

Well done mumsnet for bringing us all together

Tamara yippee!! So glad that he re-settled easily tonight. WOOP WOOP!!

Tamara, sorry, perhaps I misunderstood - I thought you were going to stick with 9pm in the long-term. I totally agree that baby steps (no pun!) are needed and you can't shift his timings too dramatically to start with. It sounds like he's heading in the right direction and over the next few weeks you can move it earlier and earlier until you're at a point where his body is used to the new timings. Well done!!

Really interested to read all this advice - well done Tamara, it sounds like you're making some good improvements. We are really struggling with 10mo DD who screams as soon as we put her in the cot. I read something on mumsnet to try and one evening sat for 2 hours patting her and talking to her while she cried and STILL didn't go to sleep - can't face that again! We have caused this problem ourselves by breastfeeding her to sleep, then we stopped as that was making her reflux worse so we now spend hours (literally!) trying to rock her to sleep and often she falls asleep on my husband's lap in front of the television. Half the time she wakes up as she goes in the cot. I can't keep this up much longer - every night this week I've been up for 2 hours around 3-5. I just can't face leaving her to cry. Anyone got any other suggestions? I know she needs to go to sleep herself in her cot but how to achieve that without a lot of screaming? Help really appreciated!

You could try sitting with her again but keep interaction to a minimum. The talking and patting tends to stimulate too much and wind them up rather than settle them down. To them it's like you're giving mixed messages, you're interacting but not picking up. Gradual withdrawal involves staying in the room while they fall asleep but you're there quietly for reassurance, not for chats!

Nectarina started a thread some time ago about this and had a lot of people posting with success stories. Might be worth taking a look?

We are making progress with 'pick up put down'. I give DS cuddles and put him down calm but awake and leave room. Sit next door with a book and let him cry for 2-3 min then cuddle and calm, put down and leave. Am only leaving him for longer if it turns into babbles and small noises, less time if it turns into screams. Am now going back in about 3 times and he is asleep within 15 min. It used to take 3 hours and lots of screaming. I think it is harder for them to self settle if you are in the room and rubbing back seems to make DS more cross that it is not a cuddle. If I am in the room he turns to look at me and tries to reach me through bars, think it upsets him that I am not holding him.

Thanks, I will have a look at the other thread.

Ds1 was v like this, and only slept through when we stopped feeding him at all during the silent hours. He was a giant baby and always seemed to be literally starving to death judging by the screaming and tantrums, but when we just refused to give him milk or anything else (and I sent dh in instead of me) he gave up after two nights and has slept through ever since. This was a kid that fed two hourly 24/7, or he screamed blue murder.