refusal to poop in the loo/holing on to it!

[klou]

my sone is 3 and a half. He is dry in the day. However he has yet to poop in the toilet. He "saves" this for the evening - he knows he gets a nappy at night - so he waits till he is ready for bed - then does it. We have tried holding off and he just gets very upset and starts panicing, begging for a nappy. So i relent. I have tried bribing, but it worked with the peeing on the loo - but the poop is another story. Can anyone offer advice??? Also - he can go for hours without peeing - i mean from after the morning pee to well after lunch time - sometimes it's 2.30 and he's not been all day. Has anyone had this happen?

my dd is 2.4 and just started potty training about 3 weeks ago. Has amazing control just like your ds. She will have a wee in the morning and won't go again until 2.30 or even 4.00. Again holds onto poos as long as isphysically possible. She will not sit on the potty or toilet so slightly differnet problem re weeing. Bribes haven't worked for her! i've just joined the new potty training thread to ask cod for any advice. Sorry i cant be of more help but at least you know you're not the onlyo ne

It took my dd 15 months to poo in the toilet after she was out of nappies, she was 4 before we got her to use the toilet for a poo, before that she would get hysterical and scream the place down if we even suggested using the toilet. My advice would be not to do anything at the moment - just let him become comfortable with the idea of using the potty/toilet for a poo in his own time. If you are happy to let him continue having a nappy for a poo (we did, because it left dd in charge and actually made her more relaxed about things) then let him know that he can ask for a nappy for a poo any time he wants one. That might stop him holding onto his poo all day.

It helps to see training for wee and for poo as two separate processes - the fact that he is ready to wee in the toilet doesn't automatically mean that he's ready to poo there too. If he isn't emotionally ready then there's no point in forcing it. It only leads to stress for you and for him - and the more stressful things get, the less likely he is to want to use the toilet.

We tried bribery (the chocolate stayed in the jar until it went past its sell-by date - despite dd being a chocoholic), star-charts (she enjoyed making it, but it made not a blind bit of difference), trying to get her to sit on the toilet with a nappy on, and everything else you can name - nothing worked because she simply was not ready emotionally. Getting cross with her or trying to force her just led to her getting hysterical and associating the toilet with that, so in the end it was nicer for all of us to do things on her terms until she felt ready to try.

As long as he's drinking plenty, I wouldn't worry about the amount of time he can go between pees; dd is just the same, and so are many other children.

klou my dd is 3.5 and she is exactly the same as your ds. I have asked the Doc/Paed and they say just leave it, you can't force it. It is annoying though!

I've been having the same problem with DD... I was meaner than most though and have just been refusing the daytime nappy - if she needs to go, then she just waits for bedtime, so I know that she isn't getting constipated etc as its a nice regular poo .

BUT... We have had a teeny success... after being strong, we have had 2 potty poos in a row. If your child is like mine and will still be regular/not make himself ill, then it seems to be working for us just refusing, but if not, then probably best not to...

For us it has just been a case of waiting until she was ready and/or couldn't wait any longer. The excitement from her when she does it is incredible, and I think that the occasional success on the days where she just can't hold it are gradually building her confidence.