When can I leave DD on her own?

[Frog253]

DD is 9 and once a fortnight I would like to leave her in the house while I collect her brother from a school club. I'd be out of the house for 20 mins or so. I don't want to take her with me because she has a club a bit later and needs something to eat before she goes.

So I'd leave her with her tea with instructions not to open the door or answer the phone.

I feed mine in the car at 9, tbh.

The weird thing is, there is no actual legal age limit (there was a discussion about this on the radio the other day!). This debate has been done a lot on MN though, and the point often raised is - not just what might happen to her, but what if something happened to you? (ie car crash or something)

Think it depends completely on child. If they're reasonably sensible then wouldn't have any issue with leaving 9 year old. But I know some 12 year olds that I wouldn't leave!

I leave my ds who is nine for short periods like this. I make sure the phone is set to call me with one button press if he needs me

9 years old is ok for 20 mins so long as they know not to answer phone or door,use the cooker or start a bonfire ,I think id trust my children at 9.

Yes, something might happen to me I suppose, but it's a (relatively) safe walk to the school.
When I was 9 I did so much more on my own (and loved it!).
As far as I am concerned it would be another step towards being independent. I think she's a sensible girl but doesn't have the opportunity to demonstrate it.

Well if you're going to get hit by a car isn't it better not to have her in the car with you

20 mins sounds like a good way to start introducing a bit of independence. I started leaving mine at age 8 for a few minutes at a time. I have great neighbours and dc who know to go and knock if ever they're worried. Which they never have been :)

I started doing this at 9 - DS very sensible. He knows not to answer the door, to stay out of the kitchen etc.

He is 10 now, and I will leave him for up to 45 mins - so if I am going to the supermarket to get food for tea etc. He hates going, and it is far less stressful on us both!

Only you know your own child!

I don't think she's too young to be left, particularly not on her own. Sometimes 2 or more children can egg each other on to be a bit silly, but one on their own will probably just quietly get on with something.

At the same age, I would have been allowed to go to a friend's house after school, then walk home alone, or go to the shop to pick up some milk or bread, so it seems a bit silly to think a 9yo can't cope with a bit of lone eating once in a while!

I think 9 is fine. She'll probably be happy to have a bit of independence.

I was walking to school by myself at 7, everyone in our neighbourhood did but now it seems soooo young! I remember DS1 aged about 6 reading a v.old book from school (published in the 70s) where the little boy goes to the shop to buy stuff for his mum. He was astonished and said "when will I be allowed out by myself???"

If you trust your child, then I would be happy doing this.

I've started leaving my 8 1/2 year old for very short bursts (5 mins here and there whilst I drop her sister off somewhere in the village). But, I always leave her with her mobile phone which has my number, her dad's number, my parent's number all programmed into the phone, so she has got a list of numbers she can call.

We also have good friends living around the corner that she could call on, if in need.

Most people I know think I give my children a lot of freedom, and I think compared to other Brits I do... but then I was chatting to a friend the other day (who has moved to Switzerland), and she was saying that over there children are expected to walk themselves to school (from Kindergarten) at the age of 4/5. This can be up to 20 minutes and along busy roads. In comparison to that, I positively wrap my children up in cotton wool!