What it feels like to be a mother?

[goofy70]

This is my first time on Mumsnet, and i would really like to hear from other mothers about being a mother. Well it follows. But the thing is there is tonnes to read about babies, their health, yours, development, tonnes to read on marriage and relationships but am i right in thinking there isn't much out there on the sensation of being a mother? the isolation, the adjustment, the stamina, patience, and yes the good stuff too. I wanted to recommend something to a new mother, who said she was 'spectacularly shell-shocked' by her babies arrival, i knew Rachel Cusk wouldn't necessarily be best, any other books? Thank you.

what about "what mothers do" by naomi stadlen?

Great, thanks, did it work for you?

Second recommendation for "What Mothers Do" by Naomi Stadlen. It's not an advice/help book in the sense of containing guidance or practical tips, but it sets out all the seemingly insignificant/inconsequential things that mothers do on a day to day basis and shows how important they are to a child's development.

Also agree with What Mother's Do. Fantastic book.

And there aren't any that really do what you want because what it feels like being a mother is different to every person who is a mother.

of course, it's just it seems there are so many things we don't warn each other about, and how to cope with those early days alone at home, the isolation from a former life, the need to muster your strength to overcome exhaustion, ignorance, the need to be a life support etc, amazing really as different as we all are, there are universal threads which we don't pay enough attention to, more concerned with health seemingly.

The Mother Trip by Ariel Gore is fantastic too. You can read part of it on amazon.

Another vote for 'What Mothers Do (especially when it seems like nothing)'

Yet another vote for the Naomi Stadlen book, I got it when D was about six months old and it made me feel so much better! Especially re. the anxiety, the isolation and affirming the sheer value of the day-to-day work you do with tiny ones - that sitting on the sofa making googly eyes and chatting to them is doing something and it is important.

It is also about babies but I found "baby love" by Robin Barker completely invaluable for it's common sense non-judgmental non-advice. The author is Australian and it will not appeal to all but it is my new mum gift for all my good friends. It's on amazon. Good luck to your friend!

Just tell her to register here

Thank you so much all, great advice and recommendations. I think another factor is that she feels the pressure to return to work, (hard not to these days) and feels guilty about not earning so feels torn by the confusion of motherhood versus the pull to work where she feels she knows she can earn and its something she already knows she can do. Heh ho, it's not easy.