Coping with a child in pain - tips?

[AngelDog]

2.3 y.o. DS has bad eczema at the moment - on his face - and it is really hurting him where the skin is cracked and broken. He has short spells of screaming with pain when something irritates it.

I find it really hard to cope when it's causing him pain. I want to howl and cry myself. At my worst, I get angry at the fact that I can't make it better, and then end up getting cross with DS. I'm 14 wks pg so the hormones are probably exacerbating my inclination to get distressed myself when he's distressed, and I'm also pretty sleep deprived, in part because DS's eczema is waking him loads at the moment, which doesn't help.

I tell myself DS needs me to be adult about it, and calm so he can calm down, but it doesn't always work.

Any tips for how to stay more calm and in control when DS is howling with pain?

Why does he need to be calm? Depending on your neighbours have a competition to see who can scream loudest - good for destressing both of you.

Does he help with putting creams on - I know he is little and particularly if it is near his eyes you probably want to do it but if it is on his cheeks or forehead let him help.

I would knock this one back to the GP - urgently. Explain that your child is suffering, unable to sleep, screaming etc and ask them for something to alleviate the pain so that he isn't distressed. If it means a stronger topical application or bathing emollient so that the skin is no longer cracked or if it means some kind of painkillers have to be prescribed then that's the route I'd go rather than listen to the poor child scream and think everyone has to put up with it.

Sorry, that was badly worded - I don't expect him to be calm; I want to be calm so I can support him through the distress. I don't expect him to stop crying when he has a reason to cry!

Unfortunately this is all part of a cunning plan on the dermatologist's part - to get him off steroids. It worked really well before - but we used steroids again due to a misunderstanding so now we have to go through the pain of withdrawal again. It should hopefully improve in the next week. Last night it didn't even wake him (he slept through for the first time in 9 months!) Sometimes his creams help it, sometimes they make it feel worse as some sting when we put them on (but they do help in the medium to longer term).

I like the idea of getting him to help with the cream.

Thanks. :)

hope he feels better soon

AngelDog I don't really have any advice, but saw your name and just wanted to say I'm sorry you and your poor DS are having such a hard time with the eczma and I hope it clears up soon. And congrats and good luck on the pregnancy! I'm 23 weeks myself, as it happens - let's hope we both get better sleepers next time round, eh?!

Thanks. It's improved a bit - although it's still bothering him, we now have a little soothing routine going where he asks for a cuddle & a song, I sing a certain song with actions which cheers him up better than anything else.

Congratulations, IC :) I'm definitely ordering a better sleeper this time!