Feel so crap

[Nesty]

Normally just read the posts on here as feel too shy to post in case of getting bad response.But feel so crap had to write for some advice on how to get out of this rut hubby is away (forces) we're 2mths into a 6mth stint we're new to the area I have friends but not any I feel I can burden as it were just feel so crap as a parent have 2 boys 4&2 but my patience is at an all time low am constantly tired boys coming into me during, night waking up 6ish not going to bed until sometimes 10 by the time all the ups and downs this finally resulted into tonight me shouting constantly then finally all of us in tears.
Now I know I should be sleeping but have been trying to find answers where there are none like how do you start afresh a new day when all you want to do is just have some peace.
Youngest goes into nursery 2 mornings a week but am just trying to keep on top of things then as evening are taken up with the bed time battle.
I know the shouting doesn't work but feel so stressed it just comes out have no family that can help out nor does hubby and know it's not down to them anyway.
During the day I can cope we do lots of fun things and though the whinging grates sometimes I can cope quite well.It's just the evenings when I'm ballbagged and just want to do the ironing and watch a bit of tv just relax really they play up I think as well they've always gone to bed quite well and the youngest keeps coming down saying cuddle me and how do you say no to a request for some love.
I just feel like there is no time for me I see women out they have their hair, nice nails done I would just like to go to the loo without an audience or someone sitting on my lap it seems laughable and it would be apart from the fact it's so blimin' exhausting am crying as I write as no one ever said it would be so s**t.All you hear people say is how great it is to be a mum and whilst I would never hurt my boys it doesn't feel all that great.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who has ever felt like this and that it does get easier.

It will get better as they get older. If it were me (it has been me at times!) I would focus on getting the bedtime routine sorted. Starting with the constant getting out of bec. Hard as it may seem, rewarding your DS with cuddles when he comes downstairs will only make him do it more. Children will push and push at boundaries. Take him gently but firmly by the hand and back to bed, without giving him what he wants or saying anything other than 'it's bedtime now' you may have to do this over and over but he'll get message in the end. Don't worry about refusing him love, he gets plenty at other times. You need sleep and a bit of time for you. No one can function at their best without.

With your elder DS, I would use carrot and stick, reward chart for staying in bed, (with treat) and simple bribery/ threat eg 'only good boys who stay in bed go to the park, if you don't stay in bed, we aren't going to the park tomorrow' And follow it through, reminding him of why as necessary. Sounds harsh and will cause tears at first but they soon learn.

You sound like a lovely and dedicated mum, it must be so much harder when you're managing alone. Is there any way you can put both into child care at same time for an afternoon a week so you can have a break?

I don't claim to have all the answers, but this sort of thing worked really well for me. I hope I've been of some use!!

Sending a hug x