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Do some children stay "babies" for longer?

18 replies

onecuteweelad · 11/02/2006 21:50

I know, I know dont compare, but it is so hard when people make thoughtless comments.

We went to a friends house who has a dd the same age as ds. While we were there the following became obvious...

She was very physically confident, walking, using a ride on, climbing

She had several clear words and was stringing some together

Her receptive language was well developed, able to follow command to blow her nose and put tissue in bin

She understood the rules of a game of hide the toy and then go and find it.

She understood time out.

My ds is 17mths old now and he is very much a baby.

He is grumpy 85% of the time, he wouldnt be able to do any of the things she does.

He can cruise and stand alone for a couple of seconds, Im not too worried about this as he will get there eventually.

He has about 10 words dad and I can understand and about 3 that other people understand.

His receptive language skills are just starting to emerge and he understands things that are very relevant to him eg Where is Monkey (special toy)

He can point to things in books he knows really well and has practiced lots eg birds in his dumper book but couldnt do this with a new book.

He wouldnt have the foggiest clue when it came to game playing other than toss the ball back and forth.

He can feed himself pretty well with a fork and a spoon.

He has just started to drink very small amounts from a cup without a lid.

He still sits in a highchair.

Anyway sorry this is a long post. I look at him and think how beautiful he is and love when he does learn something new but two people have now said "Gosh he is so like *** at 10 months, I suppose boys are just a lot slower" and "I thought he would be able to do much more by now, he is still like a little baby"

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anniebear · 11/02/2006 21:58

Does he have a sibling?

If so, maybe thats why. I know a lot of parents and the youngest child often seeems a lot younger than they are.

If not, then I don't know, sorry!! Suppose they all develop at different speeds

He sounds fine to me!! It's so so hard, but try not compare (ok, I know, that is sooooo impossible )

onecuteweelad · 11/02/2006 22:02

He is my only baby. Thanks for the reply and reassurance though.

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Latz · 11/02/2006 22:04

agree with anniebear - they area all different - plus they say girls do some things quicker - ie talk!

My dd 28 months and spills her water everywhere unless cup has spout!

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pinkmagic1 · 11/02/2006 22:11

My little boy who is 20 months can only say about 6 words. I think every child develops at there own pace and your little one sounds fine to me.

Mercy · 11/02/2006 22:14

onecuteweelad, please don't worry!!. my ds is 2 years old this month and still does pretty much what your ds does. He has an older sister but so waht.

He sounds completely normal to me!

onecuteweelad · 11/02/2006 22:18

Thank you all so much, it is just those thoughtless comments that started to get to me so I started thinking hmm maybe I should be worried and helping him more.

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WestCountryLass · 11/02/2006 22:19

You will be glad he has stayed a baby for longer as when you look back it goes soooooo fast and, yes, I do think some are babies for longer!

My DS, although physically devloped quite quickly, in lots of other ways he was very babyish in lots of ways. He is now 4 and evne now, he is not a mature four year old. Don't get me wrong, he is not a cry baby or silly but he is "young for his age" by which I mean I have not pushed him in an academic sense and intend to let him just enjoy being a child kwim?

DD on the other hand is 18 months going on 18 years!!!!

onecuteweelad · 11/02/2006 22:37

Thank you Country lass, I have up to now been really enjoying him as he develops, the other day in the bath he held out his hand for some of the baby soap and then rubbed his belly and legs, it was lovely and something that he hadnt ever demonstrated understanding before. ANyone got some not nasty comebacks for the comments. I just gave them a lame old "He will do things in his own time" response.

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KristinaM · 11/02/2006 22:53

My DS1 is 21 months - he is the 4th child of 5 in the family.

He has only a few words that are clear to anyone except me. He doesnt string them together.

He wouldnt understood time out.

He also can point to things in books he knows but couldnt do this with a new book.

He wouldnt have the foggiest clue when it came to game playing other than toss the ball back and forth.

He can feed himself pretty badly with a fork and a spoon.

He cant drink from a cup without a lid.

He still sits on a booster seat.

I think he is pretty normal. And he is 4 months older than your son.

I bet he does understand a lot of what you say - when you point to something and say " oh look at the dog!", does he look? If you say " where is monkey?" does he go and fetch it?

FrannyandZooey · 11/02/2006 22:55

Aw it is making me want to cry hearing about how they have upset you. It is so special watching them grow up and develop, don't let their competitiveness or tactlessness spoil it for you. Your ds sounds lovely and what children can do at this age is not an indicator of what they will do later anyway - I am sure ds hardly talked at all at 17 months, and now he is a fantastic little speaker. Do enjoy him and try to meet some other people who will be more supportive and enjoy the children's differences.

onecuteweelad · 11/02/2006 22:59

Kristina, you have really made me feel so much better, thank you for your post.

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Mercy · 11/02/2006 23:08

Just to add, I haven't yet come across any babies who can do all the things, if any, in your list at 10 months old. i think the people you mention are exaggerating wildly tbh

17 months is still very much a baby!

expatinscotland · 11/02/2006 23:14

He's a person. We all have different strengths and weaknesses and mature at different rates - hell, some of the men partnered up w/some members never got out of babyhood .

They are all pretty much on the same page by age 3.

And I've seen very bright 3-year-olds become very ordinary 7-year-olds and vice versa.

If someone says something thoughtless like that again, I wouldn't hesitate to say something back like, 'What an extremely hurtful thing to say to another mother!' or 'How incredibly sad that you feel compelled to teach your daughter that life's a big competition from the get go!'

expatinscotland · 11/02/2006 23:15

I used to go on this one forum, before I found this one , and the mums were all so full of hot air about their kids! I mean, they'd post photos of things their kids had supposedly drawn, and it was stuff 4-year-olds turn out.

It was such tosh it was funny.

colditz · 11/02/2006 23:20

Just giggle and say "Oh goodness, it's not a race!"

This will make them feel bad for being pushy.

they will be the worried ones in 12 years time, when your ds is arguing with his mates about 5 a side footy, and their daughter comes home pregnant.

Just tell yourself that!

(I have a very babyish 2.10 year old ds)

WestCountryLass · 11/02/2006 23:28

Going off on a tangent here but as a Mum of a boy I really get aggrieved with the whole "boys are slower than girls" thing!

I have a younger DD and she has hit her milestones earlier than my DS BUT he was early and he has a sight condition.

Rant over.

Elibean · 12/02/2006 14:47

17 months IS a baby! Goodness, I'm so sorry anyone made you feel anything other...

DD is 2.1 and can do some of those things, some extra, and some less. If she didn't sit on a booster seat, she wouldn't be able to eat (often with her hands) or drink (from a sippy cup). She seems like a teenager some moments, and a baby others - in other words, she's a toddler. And she is perfect .

Your little boy sounds perfect too - how sad that some people want their children to rush through babyhood. Its short enough as it is.

xx

onecuteweelad · 14/02/2006 23:06

Thank you Elibean

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