Where do you draw the line with after-school grumpiness?

[carocaro]

Two DS's aged 5 and 10, both vile of late with vile moods after school, the way they talk to me and each other and the whining about food, treats, dinner - so fed up with it. DS 5 whines about everything and DS 10 is so moody. I gave them a choice today, sweets or an ice cream as a treat, sweets for 10yo and ice cream for 5yo who both then moaned and whined on and on about it, then argued about getting out the car and then both moaned got grumpy about what we are having for dinnner, something they like! I get they are little and have been at school all day working hard etc etc but I think they are being little brats for want of a better word. I do my best and they still are not happy!!!

They are currently in their rooms as I lost my temper. They are such good pals normally but this after school sucks big time, I have to steel myself before U pick them up.

What to do?!? (besides get a job not working from home and shove them in after school club!)

No, bratty. Any whining about a treat my children have chosen results in them instantly losing that treat, and it will not be replaced.

Mine are 6 and 9 and I won't be spoken to like crap.

Feed and ignore.

Have the food there (cheese like Babybels is better as protein, or a couple of buttered digestives).

Then turn the music up in the car and don't talk to them. Ignore all grumpiness, ignore all questions that look like they're trying to provoke a reaction. What they're looking for is a way to 'act out' as they've been so controlled all day.

I used to pick dd up from primary and do this, even now she's at secondary she comes in, rushes to the loo, gets changes, eats something and then talks to me.

Mine is 6 1/2 and very moany, grumpy etc. I do have a big problem with the rudeness and especially about "treats". I have just booked a night away with my son to take him to Legoland (thank you tesco!) and he has cried/moaned/lashed out because there is a party on the same weekend which he cannot go to. I am strongly tempted to cancel the lot, weekend party everything but it is a treat for me too!!!

I dont have any good answers so will watch thread with interest!