how to get my 4 year old to be dry through the night!

[kh31]

Has anybody got any advice on how to get my 4 year old to be dry through the night! He has been dry through the days for over a yr and a half now but still wears a pull up through the night. Some mornings pull up is dry but other times he is so wet he has soaked through and bed is wet!
have not been giving him any juice/milk after tea time and he goes before bed, also wake him at around 10pm to go again but still he wakes soaked. Am i expecting him to be dry too soon. really cant think of anything else to do to help him to be dry so any advice appreciated :)

Don't worry, by no means all children are dty at night at that age, especially boys. Their subconscious needs to send the 'wake up'message to their brain,so it doesn't help if you wake them up.With my oldest, we got one of those alarm things. It didn't wake him up,though it certainly woke the rest of us.But it must have got through to his subconscious somehow as after a week he stopped for good! With the younger boy, I took the pull ups off as soon as he had a dry night and then just lived with the wet beds from time to time and by 6 they had stopped completely. I think pull ups are part of the problem in a way - they stop the child feeling wet and uncomfortable so the body sees no need to wake up!
Good luck,and like I say,please don't worry, there's loads of time yet for it all to happen naturally.

I have nothing useful to add, but am watching this with interest - DS is 3.7 and in pull-ups at night, and is sometimes dry in the morning, but gets so upset when he occasionally wets himself in the daytime that I've shied away from pushing it at night. And now have no idea how to help him get dry!

give it time
dd1 was dry by day at 2.11
at 4.10 she had NEVER had a dry night and her night nappies were always completely sodden.
at 4.11 we got a couple of dry night nappies on our half-term holiday. she decided she wanted to stop wearing night nappies. we had a couple of weeks of maybe 2-3 wet beds per week, and she now seems pretty much dry at 5.1. It all seemed to happen really quickly and naturally.

It's related to hormones, so very difficult to 'train'.

I did 'lifting' very successfully with dd. I would go in and pop her on the loo (asleep) when I went to bed at 11pm. Did that for a while, then stopped. She's wet the bed about three times since then (did it about 2.5, she's now 4). She will get up for a wee if she needs it during the night.

Also watching with interest. Ds is 4.8yrs and in pull ups at nightime. He was dry for about 5/7 of them but then we moved house and regressed a bit. I'm not unduly worried but any tips would be nice.

Being dry at night is, as IGC says, dependent on the child's body starting to release a hormone which I can't remember the name of that suppresses renal function during the night. Docs and paediatricians don't start worrying until children are 8 and even then it's within realms of 'normal'.

If you're already lifting, it sounds like just waiting will be your best bet.

thanks everyone. He has woken this morning only a little wet. I think i might try no pull ups soon and see if that helps. He gets embarrassed when he is soaking, gets himself changed into new pants before coming into our room. so I genuinely think he doesnt wake when he needs the toilet. Poor thing he desperatley wants to be the "big" boy now.
Maybe trying no pull ups will help him to realise hes wet in the night and wake him and we can go from there to try and teach him to wake up and go the toilet by himself. Not looking forward to the wet sheet changes in the middle of the night though!

I would leave him till he was ready. Out of my four sons, one was dry at night the night he came out of nappies during the day, two others before they were three and the other one when he was eight, yes, eight.

He was one of those lads that (still is) was non stop all day every day and fell deeply asleep the second his head touched the pillow. He'd never have woken up if he weed, so I just left him to it.

He's 17 now and has never had any problems with bed wetting.

If you do decide to go with the wet sheets ( I wouldn't personally) make sure you put a sheet on under the plastic sheet, then you don't have to make the whole bed if he does wet it.

Two reasons for bedwetting - lack of production of vasopressin (the hormone responsible for limiting urine production at night) and really deep sleep.

4 is way too young to be concerned and to be trying to hurry a child that is not mature enough to be dry. Doctors do not look at bedwetting until 7 years old as a rule. It is very very normal to be in pull ups at 4. (two of mine were, one was dry at two).

Trying to get him dry before his body is ready will lead to more anxiety. He needs to know it is absolutely normal to wear pull ups at 4 and nothing to be ashamed about.

When I run a cub camp, there are always 8yos in pull ups. Always.

Lifting is not advised these days, as you are effectively teaching to child to wee at eleven o clock (or whenever), even in their sleep, whether you lift them or not, and can extend the time taken to become dry. It does occasionally save on laundry though, but it depends what you feel is more important. - your sanity or your child stopping wetting earlier, lol.

Oh, ds1 is still in pull ups at 10. He is far from unique.
Dd1 was night dry at 8 (using an enuresis alarm) and dd2 was dry at 2 on her own.

It is about the individual child, not parental belief or method.

DD is 4.5 and we are getting a couple of dry nights a week now.
She is a really heavy sleeper and I doubt she will EVER wake in the night to go to the loo. So pull-ups it is.
I'm dreading the day we can no longer get her into the XL pull-ups from LIDL as the ones for 'big' kids are v expensive.

Luckily I read the advice about not lifting too late

It definitely worked for us, but can see why it doesn't for some.

My ds has just turned 4 and I've only just stopped using pull ups at night. It's not something you can train them to do, it will happen on it's own. When he's been consistently dry for a few weeks then risk the pull up off at night. My ds was dry in the day at 2.5 and so had pull ups at night until he turned four.

I feel reassured to hear that its not unusual to be still in pull ups at 4. After reading all the comments im going to wait and see how he goes and hang on until his pull ups are dry in the morning.
As for the lifting, i can see that it probably isnt helping as ive found that if i dont lift him at the same time each night then his pullup is already wet so he has obviously gotten used to doing a wee at that time.
I think my boy is the same as yours almostfifty, hes non stop all day and is a deep sleeper,something i should be grateful for as he used to be a terrible sleeper as a baby haha.

My DS went dry through the night more often than not after we forgot the pull-ups on a hotel holiday and were not near any shops. I used disposable bed-mats under the top sheet for any accidents (and there were none that week I remember with relief). He would go to the toilet before bed-time at about 7.30pm and I'd take him for a sleepy wee at about 10.30pm when I went to bed. We used to do the same thing with pull-ups on and they'd be wet in the morning. My working hypothesis is that the feel of the pull-ups made his sleepy brain think it was OK to pee....