Ok, please bear with me, this may be a bit rambling...
When DS was born (2yrs ago) it was love at first sight for me. He was my world, a complete precious first born. When I fell pg with dd (ds was 1yr when we found out) I couldn't imagine how I could love the 'new' baby as much as i loved ds.
As the preg progressed i began to bond with the bump, but still felt that ds was the centre of my world and would always remain my pfb.
On the night i went into labour i sobbed when i had to go into hospital - i didn't want to leave my baby boy.
Then it all changed.
DD was born and she looked exactly like her brother and once again i bonded immediately. However, since then I've felt like my emotions, especially towards ds, have numbed. I do love them, but feel less... passionate (for want of a better word)
I keep making myself look at baby photos of ds to try to spark the emotions i felt but its like a switch has turned off in my head.
I've tried to talk to dh, but hold back a bit as i don't want him to think i'm a terrible mother - i feel so guilty.
Why do i feel like this. It's not that i love dd more than ds, i just feel a bit numb towards both of them.
What can i do, please help. I'm terrified I'm never going to get those intense love feelings back - I'd give anything to look at ds and feel what i felt when i left him that night to go and give birth to dd. 