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Parenting

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Original poster

Really clingy 2 year old boy....anyone else?

13 replies

MrsHoolie · 22/04/2012 21:09

My son is 2 next month. He is really clingy with me...it's definitely not a phase he has always been like this. I find it SO exhausting.

If I am cooking he is often wrapped around my legs,if I go upstairs he is calling for me. He's constantly saying 'cuddle'.
He does play with his 4yo sister and plays independently at a friends house that we go to alot.

We went round to a friend's house today and he wouldn't get off my lap.

I work shifts so we have a lovely babysitter who we've had for years and he's fine with her.

My Mum thinks the sooner I send him off to pre school the better,I disagree and will start him in January when he is 2.6.

I know there are no answers just wondered if anyone else is going through this or has been through it?

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IWillOnlyEatBeans · 23/04/2012 15:04

Yes, me.

DS has been super-clingy to me since he was 5 months old. I tried to go back to work and leave him with a (lovely!) nanny, but he stopped eating and drinking :( so after 3 months I gave up and am now a SAHM.

He is now 2.2 and nothing has changed! It is exhausting and I don't think any of my RL mum friends know how draining it can be. I can't go to the loo/kitchen/anywhere without DS crying/whinging/clining to my leg and asking for a cuddle.

He wont play independently with his peers at all (even those he is really familiar with) and will often ask to go into a different room (with me of course!) when we have friends over.

Have seen a child psychologist who said not to push it, and he would become more independent when he is ready

So I am not going to attempt pre-school until 3/3.5 (unless he suddenly changes over night).

So no answers from me, but lots of empathy!

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 23/04/2012 15:04

DS was 9 mo when I treid to go back to work! (reading back, it sounds like he was 5 months!)

shushpenfold · 23/04/2012 15:10

My ds was just like this and I had conflicting advice. My dd1 was due when ds was 2yr 2m so I thought it would be wise to have him at least a little bit used to nursery. We sent him for 2 mornings at 2 yrs and with hindsight I regret the decision- I should have sent him later. He is an Aug b-day though so I was rather paranoid that he had so little time to 'grow up'. I'll be honest, it was really hard having a ds like that and I only realised how difficult it had been when I then had dd1 and dd2 who just skipped into nursery and school with barely a backward glance. My ds really improved at about 7yrs though, and then after that he changed beyond all recognition. He is now 11 1/2, sporty, lots of friends and very loud when confident and not worried. He's still a sensitive soul though and can be put off his stride quite easily. He benefitted most from siblings to be honest - I don't know if that's an option, but it really did help us. Good luck xx

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shushpenfold · 23/04/2012 15:11

Sorry MrsHoolie - just realised that I was meaning Iwillonlyeatbeans with regards to the sibling.

Mother2many · 23/04/2012 15:14

He'll grow out of it! My DS20 was like that when he was a baby/toddler/child. I couldn't go to the bathroom with out his fingers sticking under the door, or him crying/trying to peek under... He also stuck to my legs.

As much as it may annoy you sometimes...just remember he will grow up someday...and you will miss those days of unconditional cuddles!

Lottapianos · 23/04/2012 15:16

I'm sure it's maddening at times but the best thing to do would be to let him cling! 'Forcing' him to become independent when he's not ready will stress him out hugely and he will be less likely to become a relaxed, contented toddler. Lots of stress and separation anxiety at this age tends to produce anxious, highly-strung adults. He needs you more than anyone or anything else right now so give as many cuddles as he needs - as he gets older he will become less anxious about having you right next to him all the time. Also, if you're feeling anxious about his behaviour he will pick up on that, so try to accept that this is a phase and stay relaxed (not easy!)

Original poster

MrsHoolie · 23/04/2012 15:55

Thankyou ladies. Good to know I'm not alone and that he won't be like it when he's 20!

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mampam · 23/04/2012 18:13

I'm going through the same thing at the moment with DD2 23months. Today we went to meet with other mums/toddlers as we have been doing on a Monday for at least the past year bar school holidays. I had to coax DD in the door, she wouldn't let me put her down and tried to climb as high up on me as she could. She wouldn't leave my lap. What didn't help is that there is a SAHD in our group (who DD has seen many times before) and DD has an extra problem with men!!

I actually felt like there is no point in us going anymore as I barely got to speak to anyone and just read books to DD most of the time which I could've easily have done if we'd stayed at home. DD actually seems to be getting worse not better.

We go to a toddler group at the local pre-school and she used to love joining in especially at snack time. Now she won't even sit at the table with all the other children for a snack, she has to sit on my lap at another table and then she generally just hides her face into my chest!!

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 23/04/2012 18:58

shushpenfold - DC2 due in December!

ladydepp · 23/04/2012 19:03

One of my ds was the same, the advice I had from a good friend was to let him cling and also cling back. Don't try to push him away, it really is just a phase and the more you reassure him by giving him loads of cuddles the more he will feel confident enough to let you go. Just be sure not to reward any poor behaviour with cuddles and you may just end up with a beautifully behaved angel.

Oh and my formerly super clingy ds is now a 9 yr old who has started ducking me when I try for a goodbye kiss at school!

ladydepp · 23/04/2012 19:07

Mampam, ds was the same. I did tell him that he could sit in my lap at coffee mornings but I refused to read to him. I told him that I wanted to talk to the other grownups and sometimes he would eventually get bored and get down and play. My thinking was that clinginess and refusing to let you engage with other people should be treated differently, and I also wanted to speak to another adult for my own sanity!

shushpenfold · 24/04/2012 19:24

Iwillonlyeatbeans - congratulations!

An0therName · 24/04/2012 22:31

From my observation with my friends with clingy children - leave pre-school until later - had some friends who had a nightmare with early pre school and if anything made it worse - and agree go with it - let him sit on your lap etc - sounds like he is ok in familer situations and carers so I wouldn't worry too much

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