Self feeding question..

[monkeytrousers]

Should my 17 month old monkeychops be exclusively self feeding now? He can, but he just won't sometimes.

If you know he can, then it's not a developmental problem, so I wouldn't be worrying as such. Does he sometimes do it quite happily, but want you to do it when he's tired or ill? Or is it certain foods he's not competent with? Do you/he mind mess? I think it's really up to you whether you want to start insisting that he does it all himself (ie - if you want to eat, you have to feed yourself) or whether you prefer to follow his lead instead. My 16mth old ds does feed himself exclusively now, but he has had the example of his older brother, so he is fiercely independent and really wants to do it himself. And he makes a terrible mess

I probably am unconscioulsy worried abou the mess, though I'd never admit it. IYSWIM? Sometimes he grabs the spoon sometimes he just sits there waiting for me or DP to do it. He prefers to eat with his hands, even his cornflakes.

I think I'll just try leaving him to it - his dad can barely feed himself without making a mess so I think it's genetic

I'm fairly sure it's normal for them to want to decorate the house with their food at this age. He will get the hang of eating without making so much mess, with practice, because he won't want to waste it DS2 has a good go with a spoon, can eat things like porridge and daal with a spoon fairly competently, but anything with lumps in it he can't resist getting his fingers in I tend to put a large towel under his chair to catch the worst of the mess.

We've just bought a new house so I'll just let him go mental before we move Pity the people who move in after us!

...Is it too early for potty training?

Everyone seems to have their view on that... but in my opinion it's far too early. My ds2 doesn't even kow he's done a wee, and he certainly couldn't tell me he needed to do one. I can't see the point of rushing it before they are old enough to say they wat to go and take some conscious part in the proceedings. Cod's the one to ask about this though, she is the potty training guru!!

I started with DS2 when he was 2.6, and he's now 3.4, totally dry during the day but still the odd poo episode - and in pull-ups at night, but I'm planning to tackle that this spring. Apparently boys are usually a bit later - it's as much to do with muscle maturation as training.

It varies wildly though, what people think is normal.

DD is 2.1, and has been able to self-feed (with hands) for ages - and use a spoon and fork for about six months. She still gets frustrated sometimes and resorts to hands, and to be honest - if its something tricky, I don't mind a bit. Ditto if she's tired, or unwell.
And I do help her, towards the end of a meal - she starts, I help her finish. Because I can see that she genuinely gets tired of having ten stabs with a fork for one mouthful! I think 17 months is extremely young, I wouldn't worry.

As for potty training, it varies hugely - my own instinct is to wait till I think DD is really ready, because I'd rather she cracked it in a week than months of semi-trainedness. Also, its sooo cold just now

I did read that developmentally, a child needs to be able to manage stairs alone quite well in order to be physically able to potty train: apparently, it involves the same muscle control!

Really? Whaddy'know! Thanks

My ds is nearly three, can eat well with a fork and a spoon, will have a bash with a knife, but just doesn't have the patience required to precariously balance tiny bit after tiny bit of food into his mouth.

So I do help him, after a while, if I get fed up of him using his fingers in frustration.

I think if they can, then that's ok if they don't, it's just when they can't that you have to worry.

DS has just started to use a spoon correctly - he's pretty good and can even get peas [grin[]. But he gets bored after 4-5 spoonfulls so I finish off for him. I don't let him finger mushy food or the carpet would be a disaster

im getting worried dd is 2.2 now and is still quite happy for me to feed her she has occasionally had a go herself but loves her food and hasnt the patience think she thinks its quicker if i do it for her have started putting food on fork or spoon and giving it to her to have a go wiht sometimes she does and most times she just sits there with her mouth open waiting, she hates getting in a mess though and its the end of the world if any food gets spilt she is fine with finger food so maybe should just let her live on cheese sandwiches!

Please don't worry. Childrens' temperaments and preferences cary as much as adults' do and there is nothing special about the skill of eating with a fork/spoon - if your daughter had any real difficulties with co-ordination or fine motor skills, you would have noticed!!! It's so personal - but I wouldn't rush her unless it really bothers you. You could buy new crockery/cutlery with Barbie or whatever she likes on it, that can help. But if she does it sometimes, then she can do it, so don't worry. She won't want to be fed by the time she goes to school.

she will only eat food of her postman pat plate with postman pat spoon and fork! she is now at nursery so im hoping if she sees the other kids eating themselves she might do it herself its funny as she is totally miss independant in every other way so i think its more to do with the speed of eating a meal - its quicker if mummy does it!

I don't think you have anything to worry about - she sounds like a lovely little madam who is shrewd enough to see the advantage of getting Mummy to do the donkey work!! I think she will probably make leaps in this sort of thing when she starts nursery and sees the other children doing it themselves.

Yep, I think so too - also, do you eat with her? Because dd (same age) eats a lot better when we're all eating, than when she's the focus of the operation!

always sit down and eat with her even if its only a snack for me think its just laziness sometimes this morning she did the first three spoons of weetabix herself then made me take over as she dropped some and didnt like the mess!!