How do I stop my DD (8) feeling left out

[Growlithe]

Hi. My DD(8) is in a group of 5 friends, although does not have a 'best' friend. Recently she had got closer to one of the other girls and had started to say they had decided to be best friends. Fast forward a few weeks, and this girl is having a tea party for her birthday, and has been told she could invite 3 friends, and has decided to invite the others in the group ahead of DD, but has also seemingly been rubbing DDs nose in it a bit.

Now I know this girl isn't allowed to invite everyone, but DD as said she has a 'horrible feeling in her tummy' when they have spoken about it in school. Has anyone got any suggestions how we can make her feel better about this when we have got a horrible feeling in our tummys because it is happening to her ?

TIA

No advice really, but if they're a close-knit group I think it's pretty weird and rotten of the parents to say she can invite 3 and not just let her have 4.

Thanks All, I thought this too, but was trying to tackle it from the angle that you can't change the behaviour of others, just the way you yourself react to it. All great in theory of course, but when it happens to your child its just so heartbreaking!

You're quite right, you can only change what you do, not what others do (mostly). Just wondering whether there is something else going on here - of course you can't ask though...

I know, it's so difficult to keep smiling and saying hello to the other mum and child, when inwardly I'm wanting to ask them what's going on! Suppose this time next week it will all be forgotten, just hate to see her so hurt.

Ah that's horrible! Do you know the other mum very well?

Your poor daughter. Its just cruel. Is there anyone she could invite over for tea at your house on that day? Some friends or cousins from outside of school?

Luckily she as been distracted by the giant puppets in Liverpool this weekend. We did meet her friend who she as known since a baby there yesterday so that made her feel better too.

I don't know the mum very well. It as been pure luck that this weekend has been a weekend to remember in our neck of the woods so hopefully its all taken her mind off it.

It is horrible when someone hurts your little girl and you have no control over it. I think I'll have to toughen up myself as well as help her toughen up!