DD is 3.3 - she has a baby sister who is almost 5 months. Mostly DD1 has taken well to the baby and genuinely loves her and is kind to her. Today was just one of those days - there was no structure to it, she was cranky, I was cranky, after a week of pretty good behaviour, she just messed about all day - nothing major, just irritating stuff.
While dinner was cooking, I popped out to get a couple of things, so DP had both girls - baby crying, so DD1 not getting any attention; she then tips over the baby rocker (with the baby in it). I discover this when I get home and ask DP if any punishment has taken place; the answer is no, so I ask DD what it is she has done wrong, calmly, intending to take away some privilege or toy. She changes subject, runs off, refuses to answer...on it goes. I ask her again. Eventually she goes over to baby rocker and climbs in it (which she is absolutely not allowed to do). I tell her to get out; she doesn't. I pull her out and shout at her that she is never ever allowed to touch the chair; she tries to lash out at me and is crying hard by this point.
I don't think I handled it that well, but she could have really hurt the baby (didn't thank god) and sometimes she just will not listen. I then hugged her, told her that I wasn't cross any more - bathed her, put her to bed, we discussed it later. She did tell me that she was worried and scared of me...I don't like it, but in this instance I think a bit of fear might do no harm? What do you think?